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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Oh Poop (49)

Tuesday
Jan262010

Look Out, Germany

I don't mean to brag, but I'm pretty much an expert on the German language. Yep. Two point five years of public high school German right heeere, playah! In fact, I would be saying all this "auf Deutsch," but I don't want to dazzle y'all with my linguistic...um...awesomeness.

Anyway, I mention this because today's Wreck is so hilariously horrendous that I may have to lapse into German to adequately describe it.

Ready?

Here goes:

Gross unpassend fliegend Fekalie-Kuchen!
Taschenrechner!!
Wo IST die Toiletin? Fahrvergn├╝gen?
Ich bin ein Berliner!
Schnell! Schnell!

Ahem. Well, I think that gets the point across.

It should be noted that the cake was supposed to read, "Germany, HERE we come!" (Ah, those pesky, hilarity-inducing homonyms.)

Whether the cake was supposed to look like a baked poo souffle with a side of #2 nuggets, however, is anyone's guess. (Although I'm guessing "no.")

Hey, Sarah R., keep it down, will ya?

- Related Wreckage: Oh, It Sends a Message, Alright

Note from john: Since I don't sprecht Deutsch, I don't know what half of you are saying. Please, no clever Germanic cussing. There's probably at least one German kid that reads this blog. Dunker Shane.

Friday
Jan152010

The #2 Way to Ruin a Cake

Step #1: Take a perfectly decent-looking cake

Step #2: Add random poo piles - just for giggles.

C'mon, everybody, sing it with me: "Chain chain chaaaaain! Chain of poos!!"

Eh? What's that? You think those are simply palm tree poos? Ok, I guess I could see that. But, can you explain...[dramatic pause]...THIS?

?!?

Actually, this isn't too much of a leap if you figure the customer asked for a "Princess and the Pea" cake. [wicked grin]

Then there are the stock designs with poo built right in:

Poor Wall-E. I bet right about now he's wishing the humans had stayed in space.

And to think: this is what "passes" for "cake decorating." But hey, maybe the designer was wiped out after a hard day logging too many hours, and got a little lax? If so, let that be a lesson to us all: don't push too hard; you'll only strain yourself producing crappy results.

:D

And finally, a classic for the ages:

Beauty and the Feces.

Many thanks to my #2 wreckporters Kelli N., Wendi P., Stacey B., Jenny, & Sara B.

- Related Wreckage: Who Ordered the Poo Poo Platter?