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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Oh Poop (51)

Tuesday
Nov202012

Shoo, Horns!

Are you tired of buying a special dessert every Thanksgiving, only to have your friends and family snarf it all down before you get a piece?

Then this year, why not buy:

 

The Cornucrapia
Leftovers Guranteed!™

 
That's right, your local bakers have twisted the traditional "Horn of Plenty" into something MUCH less appetizing! Just choose from any of these exciting designs!

The Black Hole

 

The Stinky Slinky

 


The Mud Slide

 

The Twirly Turd


The Purge

 

The Litter of Runts

 

And that relentless best seller:

The Miserable Vomitous Mass

(or Humperdink, for short.)


Find yours at a local wreckery today!


Thanks to Kelly G., Sarah, Joanna C., Roni F., Jesse, Maureen S., and Dan W. for horning in on our Thanksgiving parade.

Thursday
Nov152012

Er Mah Gourd!

Eek! I forgot to mention yesterday what is possibly the most popular indicator of Fall - you know, the one you see in every coffee shop, restaurant, and bakery across the nation.

Yep, I'm talking about that ubiquitous Fall flavor:

 

...Poop brûlée

 

Kidding, kidding. We all know the actual flavor of Fall is pumpkin:

...with poop on top.

 

Or on the side!

 

Or just washed down the edges.

 

Or whatever is happening here.

 

And when bakers aren't grossing us out with log-a-riffic "stem" action on their pumpkin cakes, they're busy gleefully spitting in the eye of Mother Nature:

I can just imagine them dramatically twirling their mustachios now:

 "Take THAT, nature, with your natural shapes, and your natural colors, and your sickening lack of spikes and crappy silly string. HA. Haha! AHAHAHAHAHAA!!"

 

 "Oh, and I always wanted my pumpkins to have a sphincter, so there."

 

Now, you might be questioning whether that is actually supposed to be a pumpkin.

First of all, NEVER QUESTION THE JEN.

Lest she speak of herself in the third person.

And second of all, of COURSE it's a pumpkin.

Can't you see that it's orange? And green? And brown? 

 WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT, YOU UNGRATEFUL PEOPLE PUMPKIN EATERS?

 

 Ah. 

Well, don't you worry; the turkey cakes are coming.

 

Thanks to Carol W., Rheanne K., Dawn R., Brady, Julie P., Holley R., Jessica S., & Lisa S. for the excuse to type the following: Ermahgourd! Permpkins!