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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Oh Poop (49)

Wednesday
Jan112012

I'm Actually NOT Ready For Some Football

I generally try to avoid sports-related stuff like watching ball games, playing ball games, or excessive movement, but even *I* can tell by my Facebook feed that something sports-related is going on. (Or went on. Or is going to go on. STOP PRESSURING ME I JUST DON'T KNOW OKAY?)

So I asked John about it, and he said he thought it was football season. Which might explain some of the stranger submissions I've been getting this week.

Like this:

Thank goodness. I've been waiting for You Teaw to get here for WEEKS.

 

Or this:

This is actually a perfect visual representation of my sports knowledge: half hearted, blatantly incorrect, and really confusing.

 

And speaking of confusing:

Ew.

 

LITTLE KNOWN SPORTS FACT: Did you know footballs are like puffer fish? It's true! Check it out:

INFLATED

 

DEFLATED

 

And while we're at it, remember those Hanukkah cakes with the five-pointed stars? Well, here's your problem:

Turns out there was just a mix-up with the Dallas "Cow-Boys."
(Oy vay! Get that pig skin outta here!)

 

Now it's time to play everyone's favorite football-cake-related game:

TURKEY!! OR!! FOOTBALL?!

Sooo... Turkey? Or football?

Take your time; I'll just be over here humming the Jeopardy theme in between dry heaves. (Is that paprika? *hurk*)

 

Now this, on the other hand, is a football cake I'd totally buy:

This is an intentional joke Amber made for her bakery manager, but it turned into an unintentional wreck when he put it out on the sales floor to sell. I like to think someone with a similarly snarky sensibility snapped it up.

 

And finally, a "cake" that perfectly sums up all this football wreckage:

My thoughts exactly.

 

Thanks to Amber M., Binah, Nilolai N., Rachel L., Claire G., Ellen D., Caitlyn H., Amber G., & Benjamin B. for the home "runs." [snerk]

Tuesday
Oct182011

Ghost Busted

This is it! We're close to proving bakery hauntings, I can feel it!

Scoff all you like, but I was present at an undersea, unexplained mass sponge migration.

Not to mention they were wearing PANTS.

 

Look! Actual ectoplasmic residue! This is great!

"He slimed me."

Oh buck up, Frosty, you'll be fine.

 

Talk about telekinetic activity - look at this mess!

It's like the Salem mass Silly String turbulence of 1947. DEFINITELY supernatural origin.

 

You know, I collect spores, mold, and fungus...

...but that is just NASTY.

 

Listen! You smell something?

"There is no 'wee wee,' only stool."

 

Hm. You'd better get a sample.

 

What, you question my methods?

Back off, man; I'm a SCIENTIST.

That's better.

Oh, and whatever you do, don't cross the streams. That would be bad.

 

I can see you're still not convinced on this bakery ghost thing.

 

Then answer me this: would any human being stack cakes this way?

I rest my case.

 

Thanks to Anna S., Matthew Z., Alyssa P., Dylan W., Lindsey D., Cynthia C., & Anna A., who are pretty sure that sample cup means "you're in trouble."