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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Oh-So-Ugly (208)

Thursday
Mar202014

FIST FLOWERS OF DOOM

Ahh, the first day of Spring! The air is crisp, the flowers are blooming, and the garden slugs are JUST peeking out from their hidey holes:

...in our cakes.

Ew.
Maybe we should go back to the flower thing.

 

After all, flowers make everything prettier, from weddings:

 

...to anniversaries:

 

...to birthdays:

 

...to, um, chicken feet?

(I'm sure the baker would have labeled it a dead cactus, but no one can read her chicken scratch anyway.)

 

Hey, you know the only thing better than rosebuds on the first day of Spring?

A double feature of The Tell-Tale Heart.

:D

 

And while we're talking flowers that look like body parts:

WHY DO THESE FLOWERS HAVE FINGERS?

 

Here, I'll zoom in:

See?

They're like tiny little fists of doom, preparing to flip us off with their tiny little chubby fingers.
Of doom.

For that matter, the whole cake is kind of a bad trip gone worse, am I right? Random fist flowers, poo nuggets, an abstract bow/bat being attacked by giant dots...

I feel perhaps I'm getting a little "off point."

 

So, in conclusion: Yay Spring. Until the bee sperm bumble tadpoles X-Wing Bees show up.

o.0

'Cuz that's a honey boo-boo if I ever saw one.

 

Thanks to Caroline L., Amanda D., Sarah M., Ferryn, Lizzy E., John W., Syd D. & May for putting an extra Spring in our step.

*****

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Tuesday
Oct152013

Balloony Bologna

Ahh, balloons. Those colorful, cheerful staples of the classic birthday cake.

And why wouldn't they be? They're so colorful!

 

And so cheerful!

[glopping noise]

 

And so... um...

Ok, bakers, we need to talk.

 

I never thought it'd be possible to forget what a balloon looks like, but apparently most of you have:

Two things:

1) Balloons generally only require one string each.

2) CHANGE YOUR PIPING TIP, YOU LAZY BUM.

 

Look, I'm just a girl, standing in front of a baker, asking that baker to stop butchering my birthday cake balloons already.

 

And while we're at it, could you maybe stop scalping grannies?

(Tell me you don't see a bunch of pastel hair buns here. TELL ME.)

 

And don't get me started on all the "little swimmer" balloons out there:

I see what you did there with that "i." EGGSELLENT.

 

But most importantly, NO CHEATING.

Or at least cheat better. Yeesh.

 

Thanks to Kevin C., Brittany F., Meredith G., Kimberly P., Robin L., Christie S., Veronica S., & Anony M. for appreciating the gravity of the situation.