My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Oh-So-Ugly (209)


No Business Like Snow Business

Christmas may be over, but winter is here to stay - or at least it is for you poor Northern schmoes. Me, I'm enjoying the 70 degree weather with all the windows open. (Yep, I'm going to be THAT GUY. Wanna see a photo of my feet in flip-flops? Huh? Do ya?)

Of course, all this Florida sunshine does mean I miss out on the best part of winter: building a snowman. So I guess I'll have to get my vicarious thrills through these bakers' versions:

Ah, it's the ol' Fez-wearing, Zuchinni-nosed, Oogie-Boogie model! (And judging by those "sprinkles," this Nightmare After Christmas has a cold. Yech.)


By the way, why do so many snowman cakes have feet? Am I missing something, or do the flotsam designers all live in Florida, too?

The Jumping Jack Flash.


Here's the number one reason yellow snowmen are a bad idea:

To say nothing of using "logs" for arms.


If I ever had the chance, I'd totally build this Stalker Snowman peeking over a hedge in the front yard:

I always feel like
Somebody's WATCHING mee-eee-eee!


Or mabye this I Love Lucy Snowwoman:

All she's missing is a bottle of VitaMeataVegimen.

"Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular? Well, ARE YOU?!"


Hey, check it out: this guy's on a roll!

Not to mention the stuff that sticky nightmares are made of. o.0


I'd like to make it perfectly clear that this next cake is NOT a wreck, although it still makes me laugh every time I see it. It is, in fact, my favorite snowman cake of all time:

By Jason Boyce

You can almost see those stick hands patting around, looking for their head, right?


Well, enjoy your snowy fun, my friends, and maybe think of me and my flip-flops from time to time:

Or just Twizzlers between your toes. :D


Thanks to Linda B., Kristin F., Kathy H., Elizabeth C., Amy A., Holly M., Lisa C., & Stephanie R. for the frosted Frostys.


Hanukkah Blues

Usually around this time of year someone will always say to me, "Hey, you can't do that here!"

So then I put my pants on and take my carton of eggnog back home, where I find people are asking why I haven't posted any Hanukkah cakes yet.

The reasons are simple, my dear wreckies: Firstly, bakers don't make many Chanukah cakes to begin with. And secondly, see reason number one.

But really, who can blame them? Do you KNOW how hard it is to spell Hannukah? I mean, correctly?




And then there are those mind-bendingly complicated Stars of David. They have six points, you guys. SIX! Pre-school did not prepare us for these kinds of manual dexterity challenges, ok? It's not like you can just draw a regular five-pointed star and then stick an extra point on it!

(Oh, wait, you can?)

 (My bad.)


Even the Dreidel, that spinning top thing that's ALSO impossible to spell, to the point that my spell check is telling me I'm an illiterate doofus for thinking it's spelled that way, and SURELY I mean "Deirdre" instead, but I googled it, spell check, AND I AM TOTALLY RIGHT, so stop pushing this Deirdre chick on me, because I am out of eggnog, and I am not in the mood!


[sitting back down]

[smoothing hair] 

Where was I?

And what is pyramid-head Mr. Bill doing here?

Or is that a house with a giant electrical outlet on it?


 Well, whichever, you can rest easy, my dear Chanooka celebrants, knowing you'll always have the classic, elegant option of a blue-and-white-snowflake cake for your festivities:

Or a frozen sanitary pad with wings. 


Thanks to Ali A., Elizabeth C., Tom F., & Jamie for helping put the "huh?" back in Hannukhuh.