My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Oh-So-Ugly (214)


I Think I Just Lost My Appetite

People, I’ve seen some bad cakes in my time, alright? Poor execution, bizarre subject matter, awful color choices - you name it. Still, nothing has ever made this baked-goods-addict put down her fork until today.

This looks like something the baker found moldering in an old shower, covered with fuzz. It's shiny, but lumpy. The brown and bile-green meld together just a little too organically - and is that a spot of acid yellow I see under the pile of green in the upper left corner? Speaking of which, what is that green stringy crap supposed to be? It’s just randomly plopped on in disgusting wriggly masses....

[averting eyes and taking deep breaths]

Urk. Ok, sorry - back to the commentary...

And that texture: short of applying the icing with a brillo pad, I don’t know how one would achieve such a pitted, uneven surface. Was there a shortage of spatulas? Of icing? Of people who can see colors? Sure, I get that this is supposed to be camouflage, but do the personnel at toxic waste dumps even wear camouflage?


There is no black and white...

Only shades of gray.

Well, at this bakery, at least. The order was for a black & white cake done in polka dots. Evidently the decorator decided that "black & white" meant to mix the two colors together, resulting in the lovely cement color you see here. Then, after using the airbrush to make the cake surface look like an advanced stage of leprosy, he or she decided it still needed that little extra "something": more dots! (And I love how the dots only go around the airbrushed bull's eyes, never over them: it kind of looks like ants swarming around their mounds.) Then, to finish it off (in more ways than one), said decorator slapped on an off-center birthday greeting - minus the exclamation mark, of course; such a display of festivity would be sorely (pun-alert!) out of place.

The bakery was so proud of this masterpiece that they refused to refund the birthday girl's family any money - even though she cried at the sight of it. [Shaking head sadly] Yeah, kids these days...I guess they just don't appreciate art when they see it.