Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Oh-So-Ugly (208)

Wednesday
Aug142013

Wheelin' & Dealin'

Have you seen the latest wreckage to hit the news?

See, apparently a bride named Cecilia ordered this for her wedding:

And got this instead:

Yowch.

Of course, bridal tears like this are nothing new, but Cecilia's next move was: she decided to sell her wreck on ebay. She later said it was only a joke, but there were still several bids in by the time she cancelled the auction. (I like to think the bidders planned to use it as a divorce cake, because the irony would be delicious.)

While I'm always glad to see a bride with a sense of humor, the fact remains that this is a tragedy, and one which no doubt has us all thinking the same thing:

A tire cake for a wedding? Really?

Still, it could have been worse. Cecilia could have asked for her tires monster-truck sized. And pink.

There's a "making donuts in the parking lot" joke in here SOMEWHERE, I just know it.

 

Granted, that cake is the figurative Beverly Hills to Cecilia's Skid Row (see what I did there?), but take heart, Cecilia:

At least yours didn't have a real hubcap on it.

[scrolls back up]
[squints]

No, yeah, yours is still worse, Cecilia. Sorry.

 

Thanks to all eleventy billion of you who sent in that first wreck via The Huffington Post, and also to Lisa H. and Sommer T., who recommend the side of the road at the downtown overpass for primo free wedding cake toppers.

Tuesday
Jun252013

Zero Craps Given

Today's bakeries face a lot of challenges: laziness, incompetence, negativity, temper tantrums, extra long bathroom breaks...

But enough about your kids. Let's talk about the bakers.

See, I'm starting to think some of them have just... well... stopped giving a flying crap.

Or in this case, perhaps giving too much of one.

And just think: Someone was PAID ... to do THAT.

 

This, too:

And this:

And this:

And this:

The good news: I've managed to convince a bunch of bakers that cupcake cakes (pthooie!) will always be hideous, no matter how hard they try.

The bad news: So they've just stopped trying.

It's a hollow victory, sure, but I'll take it.

(Besides, this is still an improvement.)

 

I see this next design a lot, and I'm convinced it began as a dare:

"Oh yeah? Well *I* bet we could drag our fingers all through this here icing, and customers will STILL buy it!"

 

Sometimes I think about my great-grandfather, a proud man who left home at age 13 to spend his life overcoming poverty and obstacles with dignity, grace, and hard work. Then I see something like this:

... and I think, "DUDE - they spelled everything right! Amazing!"

(And I'll bet you a whoopie pie you just thought the exact same thing. THIS IS WHAT WRECKERATORS HAVE DONE TO US, PEOPLE.)

 

Of course, that amazement only lasts as long as it takes me to open the next e-mail:

Aaaand the wrecky balance is restored.

 

Thanks to Cathy W., Leah Z., Rachel C., Megan & Rebekah, Shoshana J., Colleen M., Kathleen S., Eliza T., & Luna L. for the fresh plate of perspective.