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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Oh-So-Ugly (209)

Monday
Apr152013

The Seven Stages of Wrecks

Remember, my friends: recognizing the stages is the first step to healing.

 

Shock or Disbelief:

"No, seriously. Where's the hidden camera?"

 

Denial:

"That CAN'T be my cake. I ordered a turtle."

 

Anger:

"This is what you call cake decorating?!"

 

"And I'm not paying for that one, either."

 

Bargaining:

 "Twenty four bucks, huh?

"I'll give you five."

 

Guilt:

"If ONLY I'd just learned to bake, my daughter wouldn't be in therapy for coulrophobia!"

 

Depression:

 "I just... I just wanted a nice cake for the party..."

 

Acceptance and Hope:

"It's fine. I've just got a dirty mind. Maybe no one else will notice."

 

Huge thanks to Jane R., Jodi T., Maria E., Edmund, Cheryl, Allegra R., Marissa C., and Alexis V.  I couldn't have gotten through this without you guys!

Friday
Mar222013

Colorful Metaphors

Hello, and welcome to your virtual color therapy session! As you know, it's national color therapy month, so the results we get here today will be invaluable to researchers everywhere who need a good laugh.

 

Remember, this IS for posterity, so please, be honest.

How do these colors make you feel?

 

[scribbling on clipboard] Mmmhmmm, I see. And these?

 

I'm sorry, it's hard to transcribe those sounds exactly. Could you be more specific? And with less profanity? Thank you.

 

These next ones should inspire feelings of peace and tranquility. Take a look:

 On a scale of one to ten, how much less violent do you feel towards me now?

Excellent.

Does this next example generate the same kind of elation you normally experience while cleaning your ears with an extra long Q-tip?

 

Why, or why not?

 

And would you say that this next example makes you more or less likely to donate a vital organ to a total stranger?

 Fascinating.

 

Now, I want you to stare at this next one while imagining your least favorite food:

Are you thinking of the food you hate most? Good. Now ... are you going to eat all of those chips? Because I forgot my wallet at home, and ... you know what, we can talk about this later.

 

And finally, lets try a little behavioral role play. I'm your executioner, and I have two types of rope to make a noose. Which of these options makes you feel happier?

 Innnteresting.

 

Well, that's everything, so thank you for providing some truly startling results, test subject!

As a reward for successfully completing your therapy session, you get a cake with a beautiful, cheery rainbow. Enjoy.

 

Just kidding. The cake is, of course, a lie.

(And they said a color-blind baker could never do this job. HA.)

 

Thanks to Jaemi S., Sam L., Samantha, Katie M., Amanda B., Nicole, John L., & Katherine M. Now, go get some rest. After all, if you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.