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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Oh-So-Ugly (209)

Thursday
Jan242013

Bazinga!

Everybody sing!

 

Squashed kitties

 

Shorn kitties


Mangy balls of fur!


Crappy kitties

 

 Creepy...kitties?


STILL BETTER THAN A DOG.

 

 

Thanks to Laura T., Gina P., Celeste B., Chris S., Jesse S., and Anony M., for starting our day with a Big Bang.

 

Note from Jen: So far you guys have let me joke about self-help groups, glaucoma, and baby bags with no air holes, but I'm betting THIS - the ages-old cat vs dog debate - is the uncrossable line. LET'S ALL TUNE IN TO THE COMMENTS TO FIND OUT. :D

Monday
Jan212013

You Don't Know Jack

Once Upon A Time...

...there was a boy named Jack:

 ...who used a lot of sunblock.

 

Jack lived with his mother in "The Hovel by the Phallic Fountain."

The hovel needed a new roof, but Jack and his mother had no money.

 

So they decided to sell their only cow, Boxy.

(Look, I don't know what it is, either, but this story is going to move along a lot better if we can all just agree it's a cow, OK? Moo.)

 

On the way to the market, though, Jack met:

...the Way Stuffed Cellulite Man.

 

Mr. Way Stuffed convinced Jack to trade him the "cow" for a tray of tragic spleens.

(Sure, they look happy now, but that's only because they don't recognize my masterful use of foreshadowing.)

 

Jack's mother was livid when he can home with the spleens, and made Jack give them a proper burial.

(See? Tragic.)

After a miserable night with no supper, Jack woke up to see a flowing vine where he'd buried the spleens:

Flows like a river.

 

The Tragic Spleenstalk reached all the way to the clouds. As Jack stood gaping, suddenly the Faceless Fairy appeared!

"Jack, climb the spleenstalk to find a magic chicken who lays golden eggs!" she projected telepathically.

(She doesn't have a mouth. Try to keep up.)

"But beware the ogre who guards the chicken!"

 

So Jack climbed the spleenstalk, and there was the chicken:

In a festive knit straitjacket.

 

Jack had just grabbed the bird when he heard a roar!

It was the ogre, Oh'Duh!

"Take the bird not you will!" Oh'Duh screeched.

 

Jack quickly fled down the spleenstalk, where his mother was waiting with a dump truck and a huge load:

...of dirt.

Before the ogre could follow, they knocked over the spleenstalk and buried it, trapping Oh'Duh in his cloud city.

With the money they made from the golden eggs, Jack and his mother were able to build a brand new home by the Phallic Fountain, complete with matching turrets.

(Those two really know how to use their heads.)

 

And they all lived happily ever after.

Well, OK, maybe not ALL of them.

 

Thanks to Amy, Giopi, Sarah J., Graham K., Sara E., moxie, Jenni Q., Shannon C., Becky C., Flowe L., Dani S., and Daniel C. for the fairy fail ending.