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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Oh-So-Ugly (208)

Wednesday
Jul232008

Somewhere in Kabul, There is an Italian Bakery

No, that's not the opening line for a joke; there really is an Italian bakery in Afghanistan. It's also where today's cakes come from. Let's see what our military folk are getting for their birthdays, shall we?

Not bad, not bad - although it looks like the cake suffered from a little friendly fire. But what's up with all the random silver balls? It reminds me of those plastic bubble mazes we had when we were kids.

Wait, I can explain this one! Submitter Sara writes, "One of my guys was a reservist who had been a male stripper, hence the naked rear."

Ewwkay. Wait, [head tilt] do you guys see a naked rear? Kind of looks like pants to me - or shorts, I should say. And the shading - why?

But most importantly: we're sending MALE STRIPPERS to Kabul?!? Dang, joining the army has never seemed so appealing - am I right, ladies? I mean, assuming this picture is not representative of what said strippers actually look like...

This is like one of those old Magic Eye pictures: I simultaneously see a bear and an armadillo. But before I can decide which it is, I'm distracted by all those baffling silver balls again. I guess the Italians use them like sprinkles - metallic, molar-breaking sprinkles, but sprinkles all the same.

Sara C., for the cakes, and for all you do on our behalf, thank you.

Monday
Jul212008

This Week on Antiques Road Show...


It's rare to find authentic vintage cakes these days, but here we have a remarkably well preserved pair circa 1963. Note the "risque" surfer girl figurine - complete with original fabric lingerie! - and of course the matching surfer "dude" in a similarly provocative pose.

If you look here on the sides [pointing with metal expandable pointer-thingy] you'll see designs quite reminiscent of either wicker or macrame, both ancient arts most fortuitously abandoned once the nation as a whole shook off the decade's marijuana-induced haze. And speaking of marijuana, [looking over glasses] that is what was most likely used to make this "grass": the leaves were often crumbled onto cakes as an added "flavor enhancer". I suspect we could also blame marijuana for the overall lack of aesthetic appeal, but of course that's merely conjecture on my part. [pompous chortling]

Ahem. Yes, well.

There has been some damage inflicted on the icing over the years, and that frilly lace collar was no doubt added by a later owner, but - and here's the really exciting part - if you turn the cakes over like so, you can still just make out the original "Made in China" label. Exquisite.


(Submitted by my very own hubby, John. Thanks, Behbe!)