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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Questionable Taste (139)

Wednesday
Sep282016

You Might Be A Wreckerator If...

Bakers, do you worry that you, too, might be a wreckerator?

Well, have no fear, pastry pros! There are plenty of warning signs to look for:

 

You Might Be A Wreckerator If....

- ...you consider "happy" a four-letter word.

 

- ...your cakes have more plastic on them than frosting.

 

- ...when you say, "I could just eat you up!" to a baby, you really mean it.

"It's...looking at me."
"Ugly little spud, isn't it?"
"I think it can hear you, Ray."

 

- ...cupcake cakes are your "specialty."

 

- ...your family crest says, "Spell check is for loosers."

 

 

 - ...you not only know what this is, you think it's well done:

 

- ...you're frequently asked what time the earthquake hit.

 

- ...you pride yourself on following customer requests to the letter:

 

And finally, you might be a wreckerator if...

...you have to ban photography in your bakery to stop your cakes from showing up on Cake Wrecks.

 

Thanks to Kimber, Amy S., Lori M., Carrie M., Whitney, Mary Rose, Liz, Stephanie B., Lisa R., & JR, who think it'd make more sense to just hire better bakers, but that's why they're not "good" management material.

*****

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Monday
Sep262016

Groom-Shooting-The-Bride Wedding Cake Topper, Because LOVE

It's Love Note Day, minions, a time to jot down all your mushiest thoughts and feelings for the one you try hardest not to fart in front of. Because that's love, b*tches.

You know what's also (apparently) love? Ordering a wedding cake of the groom shooting the bride from a helicopter:

In the groom's defense, it's "only" a tranquilizer gun. Because that makes it all better, amirite, ladies?

Also I guess the groom was/is a vet tech who frequently shoots large game animals with tranquilizer darts from helicopters, and the bride was/is OK with being portrayed as a large game animal who needs to be shot with a tranquilizer dart for her wedding, SO THIS IS TOTES ROMANTIC YOU GUYS. Aw yeah, put back the flowers and stock up on the sedatives! ...only don't because now I'm creeping myself out.

 

Thanks to Lydia B. who joins me in remembering the good ol' days, back when grooms only shot overly metaphorical animals on their wedding cakes. [wistful sigh] Ahhh, good times. Good times.

*****

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