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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Questionable Taste (140)

Monday
Sep262016

Groom-Shooting-The-Bride Wedding Cake Topper, Because LOVE

It's Love Note Day, minions, a time to jot down all your mushiest thoughts and feelings for the one you try hardest not to fart in front of. Because that's love, b*tches.

You know what's also (apparently) love? Ordering a wedding cake of the groom shooting the bride from a helicopter:

In the groom's defense, it's "only" a tranquilizer gun. Because that makes it all better, amirite, ladies?

Also I guess the groom was/is a vet tech who frequently shoots large game animals with tranquilizer darts from helicopters, and the bride was/is OK with being portrayed as a large game animal who needs to be shot with a tranquilizer dart for her wedding, SO THIS IS TOTES ROMANTIC YOU GUYS. Aw yeah, put back the flowers and stock up on the sedatives! ...only don't because now I'm creeping myself out.

 

Thanks to Lydia B. who joins me in remembering the good ol' days, back when grooms only shot overly metaphorical animals on their wedding cakes. [wistful sigh] Ahhh, good times. Good times.

*****

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Wednesday
Sep212016

"Takes Direction Well"

Ever feel like you've lost your direction in life? 

Do you find yourself wandering aimlessly through bakery aisles and back alley icing parlors*?

* I don't actually know if back alley icing parlors exist, but a girl can dream.

Are you stuck in the hangar bay of life, waiting for the pod bay doors of opportunity to open up and spit you out into the sucking black void of PURPOSE?

If the answer is yes, maybe, or "huh?", then have I got the job for you!

That's right, my friends, the time has never been riper to be a Wreckerator! Or a person who likes to mix metaphors badly, like a withered, overripe tree in space. 

But let's focus on the wrecking thing for now, shall we?

We're looking for a few good pairs of hands (preferably attached to still-functioning torsos) that can follow directions TO THE LETTER.

And by "we" I mean "me."

And if you see something grammatically wrong with that statement, then I'm afraid you're already disqualified. Kindly collect your complimentary "Prefessional Baker" buttons at the door and show yourselves out.

Now, for the rest of you, just LOOK at all the exciting things your future could have in store!

The glamor! The excitement! The satisfaction of giving a customer EXACTLY what they ask for!

 

But the REAL cherry on top? Someday you, too, could write, "cherry on top" on one of your orders!

Consider this something to work toward.


Now, who here failed Biology?

Ah, excellent! 

Because next up: baby shower cakes.

 

Thanks to Inge D., Stephanie S., Emily S., Stephanie H., & Sargam M. for being the wind beneath my leaves. Except there's no wind...IN SPACE.

*****

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