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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Questionable Taste (129)

Wednesday
May152013

Maybe We Should Stick to Baby Blocks And Umbrellas...

I can understand wanting to get more creative with your baby shower designs, bakers, but please, NOT LIKE THIS:

"The rare squiggle-spitting dingle-dangler immobilizes its prey with a unique 'spit net' that some cultures find quite tasty."

 

At first you think this is just another crocheted baby with exposed brains:

But turn the cake around, and...

...now I'm just really confused.

 

Did anyone ever show you the trick of making a tiny footprint stamp with the side of your hand? And then you use your fingers to stamp the toes?

Yes?

Well, then, did anyone ever tell you to keep your grubby hands off of other people's food?

Look closely.

 

In case you need MORE proof that bakers troll this site for "fun new" decorating ideas:

But you'll note there are STILL no air holes.

 

If that doesn't seem morbid enough for you, though, then how about a one-year-old's head on a tree stump?

I was about to say that at least this isn't a baby shower cake, but then I realized how much worse it is as a one-year-old's birthday cake:

"Look, kiddo! That's YOUR head! Do you like it? Look, I'm slicing off 'your' nose now, haha! Now, how big of a piece of your face do you want to eat? And why are you crying?"

 

And finally, I keep thinking bakers have reached the pinnacle of creepiness with their torso cakes: from protruding feet to perky nips to Wraith-hand-manicures, but I must say this is a new twist:

"I call it, 'Womb With a View.'"

 

Thanks to Anony M., Monique K., Cori M., Lyndsay S., Madina S., & Alexandra M. for the labors of... love? Ok, sure. Love.

 

Update from john- So it turns out the baby head on a stump cake is actually from the sweet, innocent, Slavik fairytale Kolobok.  In said fairytale, a yellow, spherical being (creepy baby head) becomes animated and escapes from its grandparents. (I'm still trying to figure out how a newly-animated spherical being even has grandparents.) In the end, like so many other sweet, innocent fairytales, the creepy baby head is eaten by a fox. So, ya know, not creepy at all. Sleep tight, kids!

Friday
May032013

Happy No Pants Day!

[Note: John says I have to put a little warning on today's post, so: warning.]

 

[running in]

Guys! It's No Pants Day*! Quick! TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS!!

(*Or as we professional bloggers call it, "Friday.")

[ripping off velour track suit pants]

Ahhhh.

Now, I'm just going to plop down on the couch...

[PLOP!]

...and then I'm going to remember that our couch is leather. COLDCOLDCOLDCOLDCOLD!

 

While I wait for the feeling to return to my lower half, let's take a look at some cakes that are also missing pants:

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess Susie likes cheetahs, Twilight, and black string licorice.

 

Remember, it's rude to stare.

Unless the cake starts it.

 

Erm...

 

That awkward moment when you can't tell if your birthday cake is supposed to be a turn-on or an insult.

 

Oh, I just remembered: our friends across the pond call underwear "pants." Oops! Haha! Well, don't you worry, my friends: I've got you uncovered:

Just tell your kids it's a flower... growing out of a boulder... getting a shot in the a$$.

 

 

Thanks to Lisa M., Brandi H., Rinat, and Sarah F. for dancing with the devil in the full moon light. Now, who wants to pry me off this couch? Anyone? Anyone? Guys?


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