Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Questionable Taste (129)

Friday
Nov022012

"Takes Direction Well"

Ever feel like you've lost your direction in life? 

Do you find yourself wandering aimlessly through bakery aisles and back alley icing parlors*?

* I don't actually know if back alley icing parlors exist, but a girl can dream.

Are you stuck in the hangar bay of life, waiting for the pod bay doors of opportunity to open up and spit you out into the sucking black void of PURPOSE?

If the answer is yes, maybe, or "huh?", then have I got the job for you!

That's right, my friends, the time has never been riper to be a Wreckerator! Or a person who likes to mix metaphors badly, like a withered, overripe tree in space. 

But let's focus on the wrecking thing for now, shall we?

We're looking for a few good pairs of hands (preferably attached to still-functioning torsos) that can follow directions TO THE LETTER.

And by "we" I mean "me."

And if you see something grammatically wrong with that statement, then I'm afraid you're already disqualified. Kindly collect your complimentary "Prefessional Baker" buttons at the door and show yourselves out.

Now, for the rest of you, just LOOK at all the exciting things your future could have in store!

The glamor! The excitement! The satisfaction of giving a customer EXACTLY what they ask for!

 

But the REAL cherry on top? Someday you, too, could write, "cherry on top" on one of your orders!

Consider this something to work toward.


Now, who here failed Biology?

Ah, excellent! 

Because next up: baby shower cakes.

 

Thanks to Inge D., Stephanie S., Emily S., Stephanie H., & Sargam M. for being the wind beneath my leaves. Except there's no wind...IN SPACE.

Tuesday
Oct022012

Well, MY Childhood Is Ruined

 [singing] "M-I-C..."

I see BOOBIES!

"K-E-Y...."

[sobbing] WHY? WHY? WHY??

"Mic-key, O-M-GEEEE!"

 

[crickets chirping]

 

So...

While we all struggle to cope with this assault on our inner child, I have a few questions:

1. Is Mickey protecting the boobies? 'Cuz he looks like he's going, "Whoah, whoah, whoah, there, kids! Nuthin' to see here! Move along! Ha-hyuck!" (Wait, that's Goofy's laugh, isn't it? Sorry. I guess Mickey's is more of a "Hoo-HOO!" WHICH IS TOTALLY APPROPRIATE, DON'T YOU AGREE?

2. Why is Mickey sitting on a big red dot? Is that the panic button? Because, I mean, if *I* had a panic button, I would totally be clicking it right now.

3. Boob cakes are usually made for bachelor parties. That's not a question; I just want you to think about that for a minute.

(Look, at some point this gets so disturbing that it rounds the bend back to "funny" again. I'm just doing my part to get us all to that point.)

And finally, and most importantly:

4. Does Minnie know about this?

 

Thanks - I think - to L.P., whose only explanation was, "It's hard to explain." Do tell, L.P.  DO TELL.