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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Say What? (55)

Thursday
Feb092012

Breaking Up is Heart To Do

Don't you hate it when Valentines Day rolls around and you're still stuck with that person you kept meaning to break up with, but then they made you a sandwich and you forgot?

So now you have to get that person a Valentines cake, but you don't want to go overboard with the whole mushy sentiment or effort or anything?

Well, never fear, callous jerks! The bakeries of America are here to help.


Of course, there's always the obvious way:

...but suppose you want something a little more subtle to break things off?

Not to worry; you have options.

 

For the biology major:

"Rrrrrippit! Rrrrip out your heart and throw it against the wall! And then rearrange your intestines into a LARGER heart so I can trample THAT, too!"

 

Or, for a message with a little more meat to it:

There's a "steak through the heart" joke in here somewhere, I just know it.

 

How about a little poetry?

Field of excrement
Surrounding a shattered heart:
Evidence crack kills

 

Now, I know what you're thinking:

That's just offal.

 

Here's a cake that really says, "Your love turns me upside down!"

That, or "You're an ass!"

One of the two, anyway.

Guess which one I'm going with.

 

And speaking of "buttering" her up, fellas, have you considered the new "rear view" pendant that's all the rage this year?

Why, you cheeky little devil, you.

 

Thanks to Sarah H., Caitlin F., Madlyn D., Terri G., Heidi K., & Marc S. for the heart to heart.

Monday
Feb062012

Jock Glitch

Wow, guys. Just...wow. How about that game yesterday, huh? Hoo boy!

Yessir, it would have been hard to predict THAT outcome!

Much like it would have been hard to write this post two days ago because I had to catch up on Downton Abbey urgent things to do on Sunday. Or maybe my power went out. It could have. YOU DON'T KNOW. [poker face]

Alright, look, it's long been established that sports fans speak their own language. And I'm not judging! Dude, I once wore a Bajoran earring and Starfleet insignia. TO HIGH SCHOOL. So believe me, I'm not gonna say word one if you guys want to call it the:

Or if you believe you've contracted:

(Just tell me there's no lancing involved. At least not the icky kind. Actual lancing with horses and knights and stuff would be kind of awesome.)

 

And I'll only snicker a little when you cheer on your:

"Fire at will, Number One! It's evacuating the rear exhaust ports!"

 

And hey, just because "The kich 15 good" means nothing to me, that doesn't mean I respect you sport people any less!

I'll just respond with a little "Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra" and we'll call it even!

 

After all, you guys have your "Patrits:"

And your "Gaints Beat Patroits:"

And we have Tribbles and Reavers and Sith lords. (Oh my!)

 

You score "Toachdowns:"

Or "Tochdowns:"

And we reconfigure the programming on our Kobayashi Marus.

Which, just for the record, is NOT CHEATING.

See what I mean? We're basically all the same! We all have our passions, and our quirks, and sometimes - SOMETIMES - we all make mistakes.

But seriously, guys, I have no idea what you're talking about. Can someone translate this into Klingon for me?

 

Hey Mary M., Melissa M., Lynn H., Dan H., Erin W., Amber G., Molly S., Jessica S., Sara J., & Janette R., lupDujHomwIj lubuy'moH gharghmey! So I hope you like sushi.