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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Spaced Out (36)

Monday
Mar052012

Pumpkin Eaters

Remember, kids, cheaters never prosper.

Unless they work at a bakery.

Cheater.

See, the way bakeries see it, replacing a talented baker with giant bits of plastic flotsam a trained monkey could use is good for the bottom line.

Well, until the trained monkey forgets which one is the "bottom:"

I weep for our future.

 

Still, imagine how crappy this cake would look without the plastic:

Haha! Just kidding.

You really don't have to imagine it.

("Whoo? Whooo poooped?")

 

Yessir, decorating with icing is just plain overrated. Giant rubber bands, on the other hand, were on sale yesterday:

(What, no snappy comeback?)

(HEYO!)

 

The most cost-effective bakeries know that technically this qualifies as a "Nascar cake."

So fork over your $34.99 and deal, lady.

 

Also cost-effective? Shaking out the empty Oreo trays and calling it "garnish:"

Not to mention the broken "snow" plaque and single squirt of green icing are truly inspiring, in a post-modern, pre-vomit kind of way.


Although, really, who needs writing or Oreo dust or even colored icing when you've got lots and LOTS of choking hazards?

Go on, pull the other one.

(I'm currently having flashbacks to the midnight vet run when my cat had a pull string - if you catch my drift. And for some reason that's just not making me hungry.)

 

Still, don't let 'em get you down, cake consumers! Just put on a happy face, and...er...

Oh, never mind. We're doomed.

 

Thanks to Steven S., Sara S., M.K., Linda T., Shawn T., Ami S., Elyse M., & Gopi F. for reminding us that, no matter how ugly these are, at least they haven't been peed on.

Monday
Oct032011

SPAAACE!!!

It happens to the best of us: Sometimes, you just run out of room.

The test of a true wreckerator, however, is how creatively you manage to soldier on in the face of seemingly insurmountable icing borders.

Ok, so maybe they're not all that insurmountable.

 

In fact, here are a few more tried and true tactics employed by wreckerators everywhere:

The Nose Dive:

(Cartoon bomb noises optional.)

 

The Double Stack:

Now with extra ellipses!

 

The "Round Abound:"

The color choice is what really sells it.

 

The Second Time's the Charm:

Also known as the "Maybe No One Will Notice."

 

The Cliff-Hanger:

"Y! Hold on, Y! I can't...you're...you're slipping! Y!! NOOOoooOOOOooOOO!!"

Ahem.

And finally, my personal favorite:

The "Stop, Walk (Away), and LOL."

 

Thanks to Leigh M., Brenda S., Holly H., Ariel F., Victoria M., Mike S., Jenny B., and Lauren L. for really exploring the studio space.  Before we're done here, you'll all be wearing gold-plated diapers.

 

Quick Reminder: Just one week left to take advantage of my free bookplates offer! E-mail me your receipts for 5 or more books, and I'll ship you as many personalized plates at no cost to you. Both Cake Wrecks and Wreck the Halls make great gifts, so consider stocking up for the holidays!