Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Wedding Cakes (50)

Thursday
Nov122009

Throw the Bouquet (Away)

I can't tell you how many wedding Wrecks I've seen salvaged with nothing more than a few well-placed bunches of fresh flowers.

These...are not those saves.

Believe it or not, that's a 3-tiered cake. See how effectively the gigantic seed pods hide the flaws in the top tier? They ran out for the bottom two, though, and were forced to randomly spill stuff on the table cloth to help "distract the eye." Cocoa powder or dirt? That is the question.

Other questions come to mind here, however:

Questions like: "Why?" and, "Why?" and, "For the love of pretty pastry platters, WHY?!?"


Since fresh flowers do have the nasty tendency of dying, though, I bet some of you are asking why bakers don't just use fake ones.

I will answer your question [dramatic pause]...with another question:


Ever contemplate sucking icing off a fabric leaf?

(Don't worry, this was not a wedding cake. It was a 20th wedding anniversary cake. Which, you know, makes it all better.)

Still, at least you can always count on silk flowers to be dust-free, hygienic, and easy to sanitize. That's why it's OK to just jam them all in the icing:


[blink blink]

BWAHAHAHAHAHA HOOHAA HEEHAHAH!

[wiping eyes] Dust free! Heehee! Ah, I crack myself up sometimes.

You know, Amy, Kasey R., & Anony M., I give "deadpan" a good name. I call it "Fuzzywuzzkins."

- Related Wreckage: Wedding Wrecks

Wednesday
Oct212009

Bride/Baker Communication 101

Most brides think that bringing in a photo of their dream wedding cake will help clarify for their bakers what it is that they want and expect on their big day.

[shaking head] Those sweet, silly girls.

In reality, these photos are more like "guidelines." A springboard, if you will, from which the baker may or may not spring - and then into heretofore unheard-of realms of artistic "expression."

Perhaps some examples will help.

Bride Laurie S. asked for this cake, only in ivory and with blue flowers instead of white:

(Photo & cake by Martha Stewart)
Instead, she got this:

"It's boxy, and it's blue and white. What more do you want?"

Kirstie also wanted a cascading floral design, like this:


Which her baker recreated pretty well, except for one key detail:

S/he used real flowers instead of sugar ones.

Once the petals shriveled, Kirstie's cake design became less "cascading flowers" and more "attacking butterflies." Which isn't horrible, I suppose, but it is kind of hard to resist the urge to flap your arms and shoo them off.

(Note: The silver thing is their topper, which the baker laid flat instead of standing up. Or maybe the butterflies just knocked it over. :D)


Sharon L. wanted this gorgeous topsy-turvy design:

(Made by Lisa's Creative Cakes - and I totally want one.)

...only in 3 tiers and using her colors of fuchsia, orange, and lime.

Her baker's interpretation?

Remember that springboard I mentioned? Well, some are a LOT springier than others.


And finally, this bride wanted her seashell-themed cake to rise to new heights:


Instead, she got one that was apparently dropped from great heights:

Think it was served with a pancake dinner?

[snicker]

- Related Wreckage: Love is in the Air...