Here Comes the Snide

In honor of all the summer weddings this month, I decided to sing a little song.

(With apologies to Nat King Cole.)

Unforgettable...

That's what you are.

Unforgettable!

Beyond subpar!

Like a song of love that CLINGS to me...

(ew)

How the thought of you does THINGS to me...

(seeing...red...)

Never before has something been mooore...

UNFORGETTABLE!!

Someone will pay!

And forever moooore...

They'll rue the day!

That's why darling...

It's incredible...

That a wreck...

So unforgettable...

Could also be so...

...dang inedible too.

Thanks to Christin S., Amanda C., Rachael H., Jessi T., Chelsea W., Chase C., Amy S., Angela I., & Susan C. for scaring all the brides-to-be out there.

Six Ways to Celebrate Your New Engagement

- With giant yellow donuts:

Mmmm. Doooonuts.

- With "lots" and "lots" of "hearts."

"Perfect."

- By planning ahead.

Way, way, WAY ahead.

- By stressing the importance of family:

Actually, Darth Vader fighting Luke in honor of an impending marriage is kind of awesome. Let's just hope your in-laws have a good sense of humor.

(And make sure the baby shower cake looks like this.)

- By comparing your new life together to violently killing things:

"Here we see the groom taking aim at his violently diarrheatic bride-to-be.

"Ah, young love."

(Don't worry, kids; he's only going to tranq her 'til the green diarrhea stops.)

Or, of course, there's always the old standby:

- A syrupy sweet public display of affection that'll leave your guests sick to their stomachs:

"Dude. Some of us are trying to eat over here!"

Thanks to Sandy S., Abbey A., Matthew W., Rachel C., Naomi H., & Jule Ann H., who are so syrupy sweet they should be on a stack of pancakes.

But I am not advocating cannibalism.