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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Wedding Wrecks (38)

Tuesday
Jun262012

Bridal Tears

It's time again to see why the brides are crying - or, as I like to call it, "Reminders that your day could always be worse."

Yep, it's everyone's favorite, "What They Ordered vs What They Got!"

 

Kimberly P. asked her baker for this scrolly beauty, only in red and with icing flowers instead of real ones:

 

Instead, she got...this:

Or, as I like to call it, "The Dance of the Earth Worms. With Fresh Beets."

 

Katie Leigh asked for this classic black and white number:

 

But ended up with all sixes and sevens*:

 (*That's a little British slang for you English folk. You're welcome, guv'na!)

 

Olivia G. wanted her cake to be black and white all over, too, in this pretty damask pattern:

And in case you were wondering if it's possible to pipe a damask pattern by hand...

 

It's not.

 (I literally stared at these two photos for five minutes, trying to figure out where those shapes came from. I'm still at a loss. Do you think they flashed the pink picture at the baker for thirty seconds, and then told her to go recreate it from memory?)

 

Let's take a break from all that black and white and take a walk on the wild side:

Awesome, right? Mary M. ordered this fun mad hatter style for her wedding. 

 

 Unfortunately, I suspect what she GOT just made her mad-as-a-hatter

Only not in the "Wheedle-a-doo! Lemme dip my watch in my tea!" kind of mad. More like the, "Lemme go, so I can whoop someone's ASCOT," kind of mad. I guess this might pass for a three-year-old's birthday, but c'mon: a wedding?

(Side tangent: Don't you wish people would yell ridiculous things like "Wheedle-a-doo!" when they're ticked off? That would be sooo cool. If anything would make me watch reality TV, it'd be Gordan Ramsey yelling, "Boopin' Flibberty Gibbets, you Stronkin' Honk-Nobbit!" Right? Right?? I can't be the only one.)

 

This next couple wanted something simple and understated for their wedding, so they ordered this:

What they got, however, reduced our poor blushing bride to tears - and I'm pretty sure the groom is preparing to vent some frustration, going by the way he's brandishing that serving knife:

 

Holy plastic meltdown, Batman! Swans and cherubs and pillars, oh my! Looks like the only thing this couple and their baker had in common was they both ended up seeing red. Yeesh.

 

And finally, it's time to get back in black (and white) with this sweet little creation Kelly L. ordered for her big day:

Now, as pretty as this is, there's nothing terribly complicated here, so I can see why Kelly thought her baker could manage it.

[sighing] 

[shaking head]

Kelly, Kelly, Kelly....

 

Er....Is your cake erupting? 

 Oh! That's just the topper at an odd angle. Sorry. Anyway, that cake is just...sad. Really, I can't think of any other word for it. Like it's shuffling dejectedly down the sidewalk and sighing a lot, and you just want to give it a hug. Or throw a towel over it.

 

Thanks again to all of today's brides for letting us laugh along with them - assuming, of course, that you're laughing by now, ladies. If not, then thanks for letting us gasp in horror and yell things like  "Doofin' FINKEL Shmirtz!!" at the screen.

(Why, yes, I have started watching Phineas and Ferb recently. Why do you ask?)

Friday
Jun012012

Seven Hilariously Wrong Wedding Cake Monograms

(I'm hoping to make this a Top Ten list by the end of this wedding season. Fingers crossed!)

 

Not everyone is fully fluent in text speak and common abbreviations, so let's cut these couples a little slack, mkay?

Right after we finish laughing, I mean.

(facepalmheaddesk)*

*Do Not Attempt

 

Hey, guys! You've just make the most serious vow of either of your lifetimes.
OR DID YOU?

Aw, just kidding. Really. It's no big deal.

See?

 

Wedding cupcake are the hot new(ish) trend these days. 

Want to know how to make 'em even hotter? 

Just add a little of this:

[Photo removed at baker's request. Please enjoy this lovely picture of Epcot:]

 [And imagine it's a giant pink cupcake.]

At least the center circle wasn't brown.

 (Oh, don't look at me like that; YOU WERE THINKING IT, TOO.)


Some of these could be chalked up to a simple oversight, but this? How could you NOT notice your monogram spells something?

I know it's an old joke, but...

...nope, that's pretty much it.

 

Hey, you're not superstitious, are you? Because some people might be tempted to take this as a sign:

It's all in the delivery.

 

And finally, my wedding monogram of the month:

[head in hands]

I can't decide if I'm more delighted or horrified that their accent color was blood red. I'm delorrified.
Or horrighted.

No, wait: I've had time to think about it, and I'm definitely delorrified. Mostly 'cuz that's how I'd describe Marty when he gets stranded in 1955. Right? Delorrified? Eh?

(You're welcome, BttF fans.)

 

Thanks to Amy M., Bobbi K., Deanna F., Kelly G., Maegan, Ruth H., Kimberly W. for the initial discomfort.