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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Wedding Wrecks (94)

Wednesday
Dec132017

7 Painfully Obvious Ways To Avoid A Wedding Wreck

You'd think everyone would know this stuff, but... nope.

 

- Try to Spell It Right

Do tell.

 

- Don't Use A Fork To Smooth Out The Icing

I'm as surprised as anyone that didn't work.

 

- Do NOT Put Bloody Antlers On It

Believe you me, I know how tempting it is. But don't.

(And to everyone saying, "But, Jen, those are just on the groom's cake right NEXT to the wedding cake, NOT the wedding cake itself, which is totally different." - This is me, shaking my head at you.)


- Don't Tint The Water In The Little Fountain Under The Cake Yellow

'Cuz then you KNOW "urine trouble."

 

- Stop Putting Muddy Toy Trucks On Your Wedding Cake

Just stop.

 

- Try To Avoid Any Obvious Metaphors For Your New Life Together

o.0

 

- And finally, brides, please don't jam a life-sized plastic mannequin of yourself on the cake

It's creepy, and trust me, no one wants a visual of the bride squatting over dessert.

 

Thanks to Linda G., Kay S., Kristy H., Meghan M., Kelly B., Diana G., & Brenda T. for the following important reminder:

DON'T BLINK.

 

*****

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Wednesday
Nov292017

My New Favorite Thing Ever: STICK A STICK IN IT

Ahh, black and white weddings. So classic. So chic. Why, just look at this beribboned beauty here:

LOOK AT IT.

That's what the bride wanted.

This is what the bride got:

CLASSIC.

 

And how about this little number?

Simple white tiers, drippy dragees, a flower topper - what could go wrong?

 

[deadpan stare]

[uncomfortable silence]

[slow, creepy grin]

 

BAM!

Oh, you know you love it.

 

Ok, last one. Behold this black and white flight of fancy:

FANCY.

 

Now behold When Flights of Fancy Collide With The Telephone Pole Of Ineptitude:

Here's what Angela, the bride, had to say:

"...the cake was falling apart when she brought it in and once she sat it down she started grabbing glow bracelets and stuffing them in the cake along with a stick she had my mom break off a tree outside...."

 

I'm going to stop you there, Angela, just so we can all savor this moment.

***

Everyone done savoring?
Ok, Angela, please continue.

 

"....and the cake was not even fully decorated...the back of the cake was bare....and I had asked to have burgundy hearts and white daisies added as well... it wasn't even the cake I had wanted and she said she could do them no problem!"

 

There's a lesson to be learned here, my friends. A lesson which I am not prepared to reveal because I'm too busy looking for the tree branch jammed in that cake up there.

 

Thanks to Karie C., Mikki J., and Angela for sharing their pain with us today. So that we may laugh. At their pain. But in a supportive way.

*****

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