Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Wedding Wrecks (106)

Wednesday
Apr042018

Spring Love Is In Despair

So now that Spring is officially here, you know what's coming, right?

That's right: wedding season.

[rubbing hands together gleefully]

 

BRING ON THE WEDDING WRECKAGE!

 

Let's kick things off with a lovely Spring Fling inspiration:



...that in execution got a little, well, flung:

I like to imagine that this was delivered on the back of the baker's scooter, and that those smushed fondant butterflies on the sides were all tragic road casualties. Because, somehow, that actually makes this more excusable/believable.

 

What the baker says:

"Yes, I can do that!"

 

What the baker means

"Yes, I have some shiny ribbon!"

 

Maybe at the reception they shone a spotlight on the ribbon so the glare would blind all the onlookers. That's what I would do.

Oh, hey...maybe that was the baker's plan all along!

 

Bride: "That looks TERRI..."

Baker: [flashing ribbon]

Bride: "I CAN'T SEE! Where'd you go? Are you here? Where's the cake? Hey! WHERE'S MY PURSE?!"

[sound of running feet]

 

This next one could be a metaphor for life and love in so many ways. Not that I mean anything by that, fellas. 'Cuz I don't. So never mind. In fact, can we not talk about this anymore, please? It's just a cake, ok? SHEESH.

EXPECTATION:

REALITY:

Waw-waaaaaw.

 

Because wedding cakes are like marriages: some settling may occur.

 

Thanks to Valentina V., Michele W., & Paula B. for sharing their wedding day woes. We're here for you, ladies. Right after we finish laughing.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Wednesday
Mar072018

The Bad, The Bad, And The Badder

The following cakes were made by professionals, and paid for with actual money.
Do not adjust your screen.

 

Vicky W. wanted this cake, only in pink and white.

Hm. I wonder how it turned out?

 

Oh, that's right! This is Cake Wrecks.

BAM!

 

This next cake is not the wreck.

It's actually what Mary J's half sister's other sister* wanted for her wedding.
(*cousin's nephew's roommate...)

Which Mary J's half sister's other sister apparently bought at a donut shop.

Okay, time for some hard truths here. Are you ready? Here goes:

If your baker makes most of her money selling donuts,
MAYBE DON'T GET YOUR WEDDING CAKE THERE.

(King cakes should be fine, though.)

(OH SNAP!!!)

 

And finally, Elydia B. writes:

"My wedding was like a fairy tale. The cake was supposed to be from a very prestigious bakery in Tuscany..."

Wait, Tuscany? Like in Italy? Well, since I'm an American and everything I know about Italy involves designer clothes, expensive shoes, and bright red sports cars, I have to assume that the cake would be amazin...

"...but it was like the wicked stepmother portion of the fairy tale!"

AH. Right, then. So here's what she wanted:

Nice! I like how they digitally added in Elydia's monogram for this mock-up; really speaks to a high talent and prof... wait, you added that, Elydia? Oh.

Oh my.

Since I'm speechless, I'll let Elydia finish:

"The cake that we got is about twice the size of me..."

(Hey, the more the merrier, right?)

"...but was a thin layer of cake with STYROFOAM below each layer of the Cool Whip-type frosting."

(Oh. Um. Crunchy?)

"They took one hydrangea and broke it up into four pieces."

(A hydrangea? Where?)

"Honestly, I thought it was a practical joke!"

(Did you check if those "hydrangeas" were actually parsley garnishes from the salad bar? Because if so, then you were TOTALLY punk'd.)

 

Well, let that be a lesson to you, brides: always sniff your hydrangeas, and never... uh... yeah I got nuthin'.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.