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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Wedding Wrecks (99)

Wednesday
Dec272017

7 Seriously Ugly Wedding Wrecks To Make Your Day Better

Wow, you guys really like your wedding wrecks, don't you?

And by "your" wedding wrecks, I of course mean someone ELSE'S wedding wrecks.

Because you are terrible, terrible people.

We must be related.

 

Now, remember, a wedding cake is the most important cake in a person's blah-de-blah-look at this wreck:

On the bright side, there are cupcakes.

On the top side, there's this:

I think it says "M and H."

Why did the baker use "and" instead of an ampersand?
The world... may never know.

 

Ever wonder what a cake would like like wrapped in wet tissue paper?

WONDER NO MORE.

 

This next one is Smurf-tastic:

In fact, I believe the bride's exact words were, "So help me, I'm gonna smurfin' SMURF that smurfing baker!"

 

So...

...that happened.

 

The bride asked for steampunk:

She got steamed poop.

 

Every time I see a wedding cake like this, I think the same thing:

If only that camouflage worked.

 

At least it didn't have a weedy deer skull on it, though!
AHAHAHAHAHAWAIT:

The swan pillars are a nice touch.

The intestine topping, not so much.

 

Thanks to an anonymous bride, an anonymous wedding guest, Katie F., Judy M., another Anony M., Shari A., & Ashley P. for helping me give brides-to-be everywhere nightmares. SLEEP TIGHT, LADIES.

*****

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Wednesday
Dec132017

7 Painfully Obvious Ways To Avoid A Wedding Wreck

You'd think everyone would know this stuff, but... nope.

 

- Try to Spell It Right

Do tell.

 

- Don't Use A Fork To Smooth Out The Icing

I'm as surprised as anyone that didn't work.

 

- Do NOT Put Bloody Antlers On It

Believe you me, I know how tempting it is. But don't.

(And to everyone saying, "But, Jen, those are just on the groom's cake right NEXT to the wedding cake, NOT the wedding cake itself, which is totally different." - This is me, shaking my head at you.)


- Don't Tint The Water In The Little Fountain Under The Cake Yellow

'Cuz then you KNOW "urine trouble."

 

- Stop Putting Muddy Toy Trucks On Your Wedding Cake

Just stop.

 

- Try To Avoid Any Obvious Metaphors For Your New Life Together

o.0

 

- And finally, brides, please don't jam a life-sized plastic mannequin of yourself on the cake

It's creepy, and trust me, no one wants a visual of the bride squatting over dessert.

 

Thanks to Linda G., Kay S., Kristy H., Meghan M., Kelly B., Diana G., & Brenda T. for the following important reminder:

DON'T BLINK.

 

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.