My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Wedding Wrecks (51)


Flower Power

When it comes to wedding cakes, there's a right amount of flowers...

[Note: this is not the right amount]


...and a WRONG amount of flowers:

If you listen verrry closely, you can actually hear the cake screaming.


Bakers know a hefty blanket of fake blooms can cover a multitude of cakey sins:

...including the fact that the groom forgot to pick up the cake.

[Fun fact: this was actually the mother-of-the-bride's hat.]


However, at some point the flowers and flotsam cross over from "charming camouflage" into "DEAR GOD, WHAT IS THAT THING?"

When bakers play "To The Pain."


Many bakers use silk flowers to avoid the problem of brown droopy blooms on their cakes:

Others use silk flowers to ensure it.

{I'm almost afraid to ask, but why do they even make roses in those colors?}


Just remember: sometimes, for some cakes, there simply aren't enough flowers in the world:

In these instances, I advise a large shrubbery.

And maybe a few more of those Keystone Lights.


Thanks to Roger G., Alison V., Jen, Anony M., Stacey H., & Michelle C. for making all the two-year-old flower girls out there look extra talented today.


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Stairway to Heaven

I have to be honest: I've never really understood the whole wedding-cake-plastic-staircase thing. I mean, who first decided the wedding figurines might need to take a stroll down to one of the side cakes?

Not to mention this looks more like a video game level than a wedding cake.

"Ok, what you have to do is, hop over the leaf-shrooms, collect the heart rings, and then duke it out with the Moopa-Moosers down at the bottom. Oh, and watch out for the barrels."


Then, after providing this thoughtful pathway, the decorators go and make it completely inaccessible!

How are they supposed to get down there?


Or battle their way through all that foliage?


Granted, I can't think of a better place to put your plastic deer collection.


Of course, it goes without saying that all this extra height means you have to put a clear plastic light-up fountain under the cake. (Don't bother questioning it. You just have to.)

Mmm. Drippy.


You know what, though? These cakes still don't have enough going on. What do you say in addition to the stairs, tiers, figurines, and light-up fountain, we cover everything in Louis Vuitton?

Ah, rampant materialism climbs to new heights. I like it.


But it's STILL not enough. Can we get a few dozen miniature bridal party dolls, a Barbie cake, a few bolts of tulle, and the Amazon rain forest in here now, guys?

No, no, don't take away the stairs, fountain, or multiple topper figurines; we need those.


All set? Alrighty, let's take a look.



Hey, Rafael S., Genevieve F., April L., Anony M., Marla B., & Elle J., you must admit: this thing is so gosh-darn tacky it's almost kind of awesome.



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