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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Wedding Wrecks (39)

Monday
Apr282014

Confessions Of A Master Baker

Welcome to another installment of...

Confessions of a Master Baker!
"Ordinary bakers. Extraordinary feats of bad judgment."


[baker's silhouette speaking in disguised voice]
"I guess I got a bit carried away with the chocolate drizzle -- you know, it's always a bit of a crap shoot..."

"I made my mother-in-law deliver it."

 

[whispered] Confessions...

 

"...and then I found myself smashing a disco ball on top of it."

 

[small sob] "I figured the lights would blind anyone who got too close!"

 

[whispered] Revelations...

 

"They loved skiing. Nothing says 'skiing' like giant plastic pickles and shredded Parmesan, right?" [hiccups]

"I didn't realize how bad it was 'til the bride threw it at me."

 

[whispered] Disclosures...

 

"They said they wanted 'steampunk,' so I googled it. Gears, tentacles, balloons - I was all, 'Hey, I got this.'"

"And, boy, did I get it."

 

[sound of pages flipping]
Uh...
ah!
[whispering] Formal professions of guilt...

 

"So then I said, 'hey, you know what'd be cute? Camouflage butterflies."

"But the bride just didn't see it."

 

Next week... on Confessions of a Master Baker:

"So I figured, put the babies ON the carrots..."

[light behind figures fades to black]

 

Thanks to Jessica W., Michelle B., Melanie J., Stella P., & Natalie S. for the delicious divulgences.

*****

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Wednesday
Apr022014

Picture Perfect

The Good: You hired a fabulous wedding photographer.

The Bad: Not so much with the baker.

The Ugly:

This has to be the most beautiful photo of a Wreck I've ever seen. The fact that the photographer submitted it - along with tales of watching the baker catch the toppling cake with her bare, unwashed hands before serving it - only adds to the beauty. 

And really, what's a photographer tasked with making a wedding Wreck look good supposed to do? Well, after careful study, I've come up with a few options.

 

Option 1: Try an action shot in the background.

"Ok, bride, groom? You two stand behind the cake here. Now...reach for that wineglass!"

"Hmm, not quite enough action. Bride's dad? How about a running tackle?"

 

Option 2: Flowers

"We're gonna need another bunch for the middle tier, stat."

 

Option 3: Blend it with a busy background.

"Cake? What cake?"

 

Option 4: More flowers.

 

No, seriously. MORE FLOWERS.

Perfect.

You: But, Jen, those cakes look great!

Me: Exactly.

 

Option 5: When all else fails... PhotoShop

Take that Wreck from this...

...to this!

The irony, of course, is they'll pay more for the retouched photo than they did for the cake.

Oh, and to whoever starts a cake photo retouching service after reading this post: I want my cut.

 

Thanks to Wreckporters D Tyler Photography., Tiffany A., Jen A., Wendy T., Andrew Jordan Photography, Jennifer J., Jacq, Random, & Rebecca Z.

*****

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