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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Wrecky Replay (37)

Wednesday
Apr022014

Picture Perfect

The Good: You hired a fabulous wedding photographer.

The Bad: Not so much with the baker.

The Ugly:

This has to be the most beautiful photo of a Wreck I've ever seen. The fact that the photographer submitted it - along with tales of watching the baker catch the toppling cake with her bare, unwashed hands before serving it - only adds to the beauty. 

And really, what's a photographer tasked with making a wedding Wreck look good supposed to do? Well, after careful study, I've come up with a few options.

 

Option 1: Try an action shot in the background.

"Ok, bride, groom? You two stand behind the cake here. Now...reach for that wineglass!"

"Hmm, not quite enough action. Bride's dad? How about a running tackle?"

 

Option 2: Flowers

"We're gonna need another bunch for the middle tier, stat."

 

Option 3: Blend it with a busy background.

"Cake? What cake?"

 

Option 4: More flowers.

 

No, seriously. MORE FLOWERS.

Perfect.

You: But, Jen, those cakes look great!

Me: Exactly.

 

Option 5: When all else fails... PhotoShop

Take that Wreck from this...

...to this!

The irony, of course, is they'll pay more for the retouched photo than they did for the cake.

Oh, and to whoever starts a cake photo retouching service after reading this post: I want my cut.

 

Thanks to Wreckporters D Tyler Photography., Tiffany A., Jen A., Wendy T., Andrew Jordan Photography, Jennifer J., Jacq, Random, & Rebecca Z.

*****

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Wednesday
Mar262014

Sweet Dreams

As someone who's battled insomnia for most of my adult life, I know just how valuable a soothing bedtime story can be. So, my fellow sleepless-in-wherevers, this one's for you.

[hem ahem hem]

*whispering*

Once upon a time...

there was a baby who was very sleepy.

The baby's undead friends, however, kept asking:

Yes, throughout the long nights, the baby's best buds howled and screamed and demanded that he stay awake, and play!

One day the baby thought, Maybe if I disguise myself as a ladybug and hide in the forest, my friends won't be able to find me to ask me to play!

 

And so, chopping off his own arms and legs, he did.

But, alas! His buggy disguise soon attracted a sticky swarm of monster ladybugs.

They crawled in his hair and tickled his ears and the baby forgot about sleep for another night.

 

Maybe, the baby thought next, if I cover myself with a big blanket, I won't hear my friends calling me!

And so, plugging his little ears, he did.

But, alas! His friend Mr. Bubbles had a very loud and squeaky nose:

Plus, Mr. Bubbles' chainsaws were terribly noisy.

 

I know! The baby thought at last. I'll hide in this cake! Then I can nap as long as I want.

And so, burrowing into the soft spongy layers, he did.

But, alas! The cake was Mr. Monkey's birthday cake.

 

***The End***

 

Now, who wants seconds?

(By the fabulous Leigh Henderson)

 

 

Amanda K., Alice N., Mary, Katherine L., Amanda H., Sydney F., Sarah V., & Eden C., sleep tight.

*****

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