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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Wrecky Replay (125)

Wednesday
May112016

Passive Aggression is a Dish Best Served Iced

Passive aggression comes in many forms, but I prefer the subtle approach for added deniability. The message is still there, of course, but it's not so obvious as to get you immediately disowned.

"Here's a big dead tree to represent your general state of witheredness. 

"Oh, and..." [jazz hands] "Happy birthday."

 

If she asks, it's a crown. But we both know better.

"No, Mom, of COURSE that's not a hand giving you the finger. It's a crown. Because you are a ROYAL...delight."

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this engagement cake:

...except that the groom's name is Nathan.

Nathan: 0

Mother-in-Law: + 20

 

When the subtle approach isn't getting the job done, though, sometimes you have to step up your game. And then put it in quotes:

"Also, I got this off the week-old clearance rack. For free."

 

Vicky: "It's not even my birthday!"

 "We know; we just wanted to make extra sure you knew you were being excluded."

 

"No, seriously, we're reeeeally sorry about that. Now, can we get you some cake? Or a drink? Maybe some adult diapers?"

 

Sarah C. claims she only asked for Happy Birthday, and the baker overheard her saying the rest on the phone to someone else. Riiiiight. How'd that excuse fly with the birthday girl, Sarah?

 

Of course, when it comes to passive aggressive cakes, nothing can ever compare to the ones mom used to make.

Right, Jason?

Oops, looks like we just missed Jason - he's gone on a guilt trip. See ya when you get back, buddy! "Enjoy!"

 
Thanks to Anne M., Courtney B., Emily K., Greer D., Laura P., Jessica S., Jennifer B., Sarah C., & Sue F., who will always still love me. Right, guys?

Guys? ...Hello?

*****

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Thursday
May052016

Baby Bears All

Yesterday I offered to buy John some nipple pasties, but before you judge, it wasn't for anything "weird." It was just to cover his nipples. 

You know, when he goes running. Because they hurt. His nipples, I mean. When he runs. I like talking. In short, choppy sentences. Like this.

Which just goes to show, well, everything except the nipples. But also that you should never make snap judgements on anything.

Take this cake, for example:

 

 At first glance, it's just a pink bear with a little black nose being shunned by three invisible, barefoot ghosts.

BUT, look closer, and you soon realize ...

SWEET BETTY CROCKER, THAT BEAR IS EATING A BABY!!

Which explains why the ghosts are shunning him, if you think about it. After all, eating babies is never something you want to encourage - is it, bakers?

Of course, after a fifth or sixth glance you might start to think that isn't a bear at all, but rather a knitted pink snow suit with an unfortunate child stuck inside...being shunned by three invisible ghosts. Which makes SO much more sense for a baby shower. o.0

Right, I take it back: in this case, a snap judgement really IS the best option. It's a bear. And I like men who wear pasties. Because I'm a weirdo. A fun, fun weirdo.

 

 

Thanks to Joy O. for being weird with me. But not in a weird way.

*****

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