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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Wrecky Replay (142)

Wednesday
Dec302015

A Day In The Life

Jen and I are often asked what it's like to be "professional" bloggers. How do we spend our days? Do we have a swimming pool filled with gold coins? Are there fantastic parties and gourmet ketchups? The answer to all these questions is yes. Jen even has a green dress. (But not a real green dress. That's cruel.)

That doesn't mean it's all fun and games, though. Sometimes we take naps.

In fact, I think I'll keep a diary for a day, just so you can see firsthand the "glorious life" of the "Professional Blogger." Enjoy!

 

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1:00 pm - Woke up to cats hammering on door and yowling. Note to self: get thicker door. Also, new cats.

 

 

"Mrow?"

 

 

1:35 pm - Cats' yowls going super sonic. Ear plugs ineffective. Time for the Super Soaker.

 

 

"Mruh Mroh."

 

 

2:10 pm - Jen's awake. Cats are hiding. I ask in my best Kirk impression (complete with hand gestures), "JEN! Are... you... readytobe... funny? We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill!"

 

Jen:

 

Note to self: Avoid Kirk impressions before Jen's fully awake.

 

3:45 pm - Checked on Jen in the office. She has 27 browser tabs open and is humming "Loathing." So far, so good.

5:20 pm - Jen comes out of her office to reheat some "breakfast."

 

Pizza and Maalox: breakfast of champions.

 

7:20 pm - A yell from the office: "Oy! What're some puns for 'lactating?'"

 

7:32 pm - Final tally: Milking it, so cheesy, really sucks, staying abreast of the whole situation, whipped into a frenzy, creamy complexion, skim off the top, nipped a pair of area oreos

 

8:15 pm - Maniacal laughter coming from office.

8:21 pm
- Loud sobs coming from office.

8:30 pm
- Colorful swearing coming from office. Huh. Rapid mood swings may indicate low blood sugar. I bring Jen a cookie.

 

Effect is immediate. "Ohh, and also 'eat, drink, and be dairy!'"

 

10:45 pm - Heading to McDonald's for lunch.

 

Thank goodness we're not food bloggers. (Oh. Wait...)

 

 

12:20 am- Break time. Watching Castle with Jen.

 

 

*snorfle*

 

2:15 am- Jen heads back to the office. I'm off to bed.

 

(This was supposed to say "Just because." Seriously.)

 

 

3:35 am - Woken by a loud yell. Rushed out to find Jen staring horror-struck at a new e-mail:

 

 

"Why? WHY?!?"

 

 

4:04 am - Convinced Jen to come to bed. She lies in the dark, muttering, "Can't sleep. Lobster in blond wig will eat me."

 

I think it's going to be another long night.


Thanks to Lyle, James, Alistair, Carissa, Amanda M., Helen W., Elizabeth M., Kristin S., Eilen, Tyler O., Dana S., & Beatrice Y., for helping us avoid "real" jobs. Now: nap time!

*****

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Wednesday
Dec232015

Watch Your Back, Frosty

The rest of the story is overrated. These seasonal snippets will do.

 

In a twist of festive irony, Santa later shot his own eye out.

 

Naturally, all Ralph Lauren cookie covers had to undergo a little "retouching."

 

Donner blamed Dasher, and Dasher blamed Vixen, but one thing was certain: they would never use the phrase "flipping his lid" again without wincing.

 

Their escape depended on luck, daring, and the fact that their snowy jailors had no arms.

 

To be fair, the woman never specified which part of the word to replace with an X.

 

So he bided his time, knowing someday, somehow, that smug self-satisfied snowman would pay.

 

Thanks to Kelly W., Matthew Z., Kimberly & Courtney, Joey T., Susan H., & Ann H. for showing us the Far Side of Christmas.

*****

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