Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Wrecky Replay (53)

Wednesday
Nov052014

Throw the Bouquet Away

I can't tell you how many wedding Wrecks I've seen salvaged with nothing more than a few well-placed bunches of fresh flowers.

These...are not those saves.

Believe it or not, that's a 3-tiered cake. See how effectively the gigantic seed pods hide the flaws in the top tier? They ran out for the bottom two, though, and were forced to randomly spill stuff on the table cloth to help "distract the eye." Cocoa powder or dirt? That is the question.

 

Other questions come to mind here, however:

Questions like: "Why?" and, "Why?" and, "For the love of pretty pastry platters, WHY?!?"

 

Since fresh flowers do have the nasty tendency of dying, though, I bet some of you are asking why bakers don't just use fake ones.

I will answer your question [dramatic pause]...with another question:

Ever contemplate sucking icing off a fabric leaf?

(Don't worry, this was not a wedding cake. It was a 20th wedding anniversary cake. Which, you know, makes it all better.)

Still, at least you can always count on silk flowers to be dust-free, hygienic, and easy to sanitize. That's why it's OK to just jam them all in the icing:

[blink blink]

BWAHAHAHAHAHA HOOHAA HEEHAHAH!

[wiping eyes] Dust free! Heehee! Ah, I crack myself up sometimes.

 

You know, Amy, Kasey R., & Anony M., I give "deadpan" a good name. I call it "Fuzzywuzzkins."

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

Wednesday
Oct222014

Wrecky Roughage

According to this survey I'm about to make up, 74% of us don't get enough fiber in our diets. Unless you're British. In which case you don't get enough fibre. And you spell things wrong.

Fortunately, the bakeries of the world are here to help.

I think we'll call this Faeber.

I DO believe in Faeber. I do, I do!!

 

TRUE STORY: Last week our cat Tonks decided to eat a piece of ribbon because she is, by all accounts, an idiot. Now if you're a cat owner, you know that she will most likely end up dragging a two foot piece of poo-coated ribbon across our carpet while we sleep, blissfully unaware of the impending cleaning bills.

Which makes me wonder: Does the same thing happen with kids?

Admit it: you just had a mental image of a bunch of toddlers scootching their butts across the carpet.

 

Now, of course, if plastic is your fiber of choice, then have I got a cake for you!

It's like a cartoon colonic.

 

In fact, bakers really seem to be embracing the Dollar Depot movement: (Heh. "Movement.") Case in point: Ashley ordered a little boy's cake, something appropriate for a first birthday.

Aaaand this is what she got:

...'cuz nothing's more appropriate for a one-year-old than twenty-two individual choking opportunities.

"No, Palmer, Sweetie, you can't eat that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. No! Not that! Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Whoah! Definitely not that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Maybe th...no, not that, either.

"Or that."

 

Diana F., Kasia R., Wicked Princess, & Ashley P., I think the brown sprinkles might be safe, if you want to chance it.

NOTE: This post is from a few years ago, so rest assured Tonks is fine. And more importantly, so is our carpet.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.