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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Wrecky Replay (160)

Wednesday
Dec212016

Christmas Blues

I have a problem around this time of year. It's kind of embarrassing, but I'm hoping I'm not the only one. 

It goes like this:

I'll be out shopping somewhere with John, when suddenly:

I'll hear it.

And I'll think, "No, it can't be. They wouldn't play THAT song. Not here! It must be some other song."

Then a few more seconds will go by, and I'll realize:

It IS that song.

They're playing Christmas Shoes.

 

 

So I tell myself I'll just ignore it. I talk to John a little louder. I try humming It's A Small World. But it's no use:

 

I start listening, in spite of myself.

 

And ninety seconds later:

[sobbing] "Buy him the shoes! BUY THE LITTLE BOY THE SHOES FOR HIS DYING MOTHER! AaahhhaaaaHAAA!!"

 

 And my mascara's running everywhere...

 

And the cashier is like:

 

And all the other customers are like:

 

And I turn to John for support, but he's crying, too, so we're BOTH like:

 

And THAT is why I'm never going back to that Honey Baked Ham outlet.

 

Thanks to Hannah F., Kimberly S., Linda M., Anony M., Rachel S.,  Marissa C.,  Jodee R., Kizzie F., & David G. who might claim they don't cry at Christmas Shoes, but if so they're filthy, filthy liars.

And just in case you've never had the pleasure, here it is. BUT DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.

 

*****

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Wednesday
Dec142016

HE SEES YOU

[movie announcer guy]:  

This Christmas... 

get ready...

for a one horse...

open...

SLAY.

 

 "AAAIIIIEEEEE!!"

 

Run as fast as you can...

[insane giggling]

 

And don't go outside:

"ZOMBIE PENGUIN!"

 

And never...

"THEY'RE COMING!"

    

EVER...

"Oh, thank goodness we found you, Santa! ....Santa?"

"AAAAAIIIIEEEEE!!!!"

 

...FALL ASLEEP. 

"He's not real. He's not real. HE'S NOT REAL."

 

 "He's... right behind me, isn't he?

"Great. Juuuuust great."

 

 

[child singing]

He sees you when you're sleeping

He know when you're awake

He knows if you've been bad or good,

So be good...

 

 ...OR DIE.

 

Thanks to Erinn M., Aymara A., Gene H., Ben & Janelle, Chandria D., Zach R., Ann H., & Shannon S., who better watch out, and they better not cry, because wusses get left behind.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.