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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Wrecky Replay (176)

Wednesday
Mar292017

Get Used To (More) Disappointment

What's that? You want more "Missed Marks" wrecks?

AS YOU WISH.

 

First up, Randee C. ordered this simple zebra-stripe cake from her local bakery:

 

... and ended up with something only a finger-painting preschooler could love:

Zebras of unusual stripes?
I don't think they exist.


Next, Tahneea made two notable discoveries: first, this gorgeous cake:

There's a shortage of perfect ruffles in the world. 'Twould be a pity to damage yours.

 

And second, a use for leftover coffee filters!

 

"I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six hundred coffee filters on hand?"

"Do you always begin conversations this way?"

"YUP." 

 

And finally, Mel D. ordered this beauty for her wedding:

She tells me her baker showed her an impressive portfolio of gorgeous cakes, which made the final reveal on her big day that much more, well, you know ...

INCONCEIVABLE.

 

And ... EMBIGGIFY!

On the plus side, that silver glitter really clumps together nicely.

 

Bye bye, brides! Have fun ordering your cakes!

("Think they'll be wrecks?"

"If not, it'll be a miracle.") 

 

BYEEE!

*****

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Wednesday
Mar222017

Completely Inappropriate First Birthday Cakes

I'm pretty sure most one-year-olds will never remember their first birthday cakes, which is why I'm here to provide an invaluable service: reminding little E.J. that her (yes, her) parents got her this:

Any guesses on what EJ will be getting for her 12th birthday?

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, parents, but I think age one is a little young for boys to be discovering their bananas, IF you know what I mean.

And if you don't, just look at this:

Don't worry, George, all monkeys get curious eventually.

 

Things I'm Pretty Sure One-Year-Olds Like:
- Cheerful colors
- Cute animals
- Putting things in their mouths
- Pooping

Thing I'm Pretty Sure One-Year-Olds Do NOT Like:
- Guys with guns
- Who are shooting cute animals

 

This next one isn't a first birthday cake; it's a christening cake. So little John was, what? A couple of days old maybe? Right. SOMEONE GET THAT KID A GUINNESS.

Honestly I don't know what all is happening here, or what in that mess is considered edible. And I think I spied a tiny plastic poodle in a Santa hat in front of that tree stump with a face before my brain broke.

(ACTUAL CONVERSATION I JUST HAD WITH JOHN:

John: [seeing cake] "What is THAT? Hahaha! He must be Irish, huh?"
Me: "What?! That is a terrible stereotype! How dare you!"
John: "There's a pot of gold and a shamrock."
Me: [looking] "Oh. Right. Ok, maybe they're Irish.")

 

"But you look good for your age, Levi. Really. And hey, one is the new six months! I read it in Vogue!"

 

Something here just doesn't add up.

 

And finally...

Please let his last name be Johnson. Please let his last name be Johnson. PleaselethislastnamebeJohnson.

 

Thanks to Anita T., Amy N., Jill B., Amber, D'arcy, Vinny A., & Melissa M. for the memorable first impressions.

*****

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