Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Wrecky Replay (68)

Wednesday
Feb182015

Stairway to Heaven

I have to be honest: I've never really understood the whole wedding-cake-plastic-staircase thing. I mean, who first decided the wedding figurines might need to take a stroll down to one of the side cakes?

Not to mention this looks more like a video game level than a wedding cake.

"Ok, what you have to do is, hop over the leaf-shrooms, collect the heart rings, and then duke it out with the Moopa-Moosers down at the bottom. Oh, and watch out for the barrels."

 

Then, after providing this thoughtful pathway, the decorators go and make it completely inaccessible!

How are they supposed to get down there?

 

Or battle their way through all that foliage?

 

Granted, I can't think of a better place to put your plastic deer collection.

 

Of course, it goes without saying that all this extra height means you have to put a clear plastic light-up fountain under the cake. (Don't bother questioning it. You just have to.)

Mmm. Drippy.

 

You know what, though? These cakes still don't have enough going on. What do you say in addition to the stairs, tiers, figurines, and light-up fountain, we cover everything in Louis Vuitton?

Ah, rampant materialism climbs to new heights. I like it.

 

But it's STILL not enough. Can we get a few dozen miniature bridal party dolls, a Barbie cake, a few bolts of tulle, and the Amazon rain forest in here now, guys?

No, no, don't take away the stairs, fountain, or multiple topper figurines; we need those.

***

All set? Alrighty, let's take a look.

YES!! BEHOLD MY CREATION!! AHAHAHAHAHAAA!

 

Hey, Rafael S., Genevieve F., April L., Anony M., Marla B., & Elle J., you must admit: this thing is so gosh-darn tacky it's almost kind of awesome.

Or...not.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

Wednesday
Feb112015

Valentine's "Winners"

Hey, Saturday is Valentine's Day!! May the sugar-coated cuteness and commercially-driven materialistic declarations of affection begin!

Just don't get your cutie-patootie any of these:

Sure, it looks like an internal organ: just not the right one.

 

These could lead to a lot of fun "what's that supposed to mean?" conversations:

Uh, your love kills me?

 

You make my heart unravel?

 

And this one is a bit desperate for my taste:

 

Here's a great one to give your SO in mixed company:

I don't know about you guys, but when I refer to myself in the third person in conversations with John (which is especially fun at parties), I usually prefer the designations "baby" and "your lover".

"Baby, your lover would like you to take the trash out."
"Baby, your lover is going to the store."
"Baby, your lover gets the not-so-subtle hint from your Valentine's present..."

"...but your lover has a headache." (cue "Broken Arrow" by Rod Stewart)

 

Now, these cake/cookie things may suffer from the whole bum-crack affliction:

 

...but they still look way more appetizing than these:

Hey, it's the ABC gum cake!
(For those of you who don't remember kindergarten, ABC = "Already Been Chewed".)

 

Gabrielle H., Maya C., Anne M., Kandace H., Michael H., & Ben O., John's lover thanks you.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.