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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Wrecky Replay (62)

Wednesday
Dec032014

What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate

I'm always fascinated by the breakdown in communication that can occur when you order a cake. I love figuring out what went wrong just by looking at the cake; it beats any crossword puzzle or word jumble.

 

Sometimes the explanation is pretty straight forward:

 

As you can see, there is in fact a "Coca Cola can/bottle" on this cake.

 

Other times there's a severe misunderstanding from the get-go:

I like to think that if they'd spelled "capital" correctly they might have figured it out.

Sometimes you specifically ask for little plastic "Happy Birthday sticks" stuck in your order of cupcakes:

Other times you're just not specific enough:

And sometimes, on wonderful, rare occasions, you get an amazingly talented baker. A baker with mad piping skills, a steady hand, and perfect spelling. A baker who, incidentally, is also a little hard of hearing. So, when you get this baker, and you want to order a giant Gerber daisy on your cake, just be sure you enunciate really, really well.

Because otherwise...

 

You might get the Gerber Baby.

 

(Yes, really. Scout's honor.)

 

A big "thanks" in all caps to Heather F., Brianne H., Jessie B., Kristina R., & Kelly Y., who had some 'splaining to do on her last birthday.

*****

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Wednesday
Nov192014

Wedding Wrecks, Vol. 215

It's your wedding day. Of COURSE you want sprinkles.

Er...

Did the camel sneeze?

 

Brides-to-be, want your cake to convey a sense of elegance in addition to the fun, campy style normally reserved for peanut vendors and clown cars? Then have I got the cake for you!

(Levitating tiers come standard. Cake stand extra.)

 

Or perhaps you'd prefer something less colorful. Something that evokes less "Big Top" and more "Sewer Pipe...with Flowers":

You could call this color a blue/grey/green. Or "hurk," which is faster and more accurate.

 

Still hungry? This'll help:

I'm reminded of a song my dad used to sing to me when I was little. Maybe you know it. Does "Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts" ring any bells? (Man, they just don't write lullabies like they used to...)

 

Hey, you know how we're always wondering why more wedding cakes don't use Mardi Gras beads?

Well, wonder no more!

These colors are making me a little queasy.
Which is ironic, considering the Pepto Bismol icing.

 

[dramatic movie trailer voice]
"She was the belle of the ball, the picture of elegance.
He was a rough country boy who'd never seen a fork.
Together, they would create something the world had never seen.
Something ground breaking.
Something divisive.
Something... well, kind of prickly."

And that's why you always let the groom have his cake, ladies.

 

Thanks to Karen M., Karin D., Judy M., Anony M., Danielle T., & Jennifer C. who would all like a stabby piece, please.

*****

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