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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Wrecky Replay (134)

Thursday
May052016

Baby Bears All

Yesterday I offered to buy John some nipple pasties, but before you judge, it wasn't for anything "weird." It was just to cover his nipples. 

You know, when he goes running. Because they hurt. His nipples, I mean. When he runs. I like talking. In short, choppy sentences. Like this.

Which just goes to show, well, everything except the nipples. But also that you should never make snap judgements on anything.

Take this cake, for example:

 

 At first glance, it's just a pink bear with a little black nose being shunned by three invisible, barefoot ghosts.

BUT, look closer, and you soon realize ...

SWEET BETTY CROCKER, THAT BEAR IS EATING A BABY!!

Which explains why the ghosts are shunning him, if you think about it. After all, eating babies is never something you want to encourage - is it, bakers?

Of course, after a fifth or sixth glance you might start to think that isn't a bear at all, but rather a knitted pink snow suit with an unfortunate child stuck inside...being shunned by three invisible ghosts. Which makes SO much more sense for a baby shower. o.0

Right, I take it back: in this case, a snap judgement really IS the best option. It's a bear. And I like men who wear pasties. Because I'm a weirdo. A fun, fun weirdo.

 

 

Thanks to Joy O. for being weird with me. But not in a weird way.

*****

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Thursday
Apr282016

Doilies and Squiggles and Spray Paint, Oh My!

It's time again for everyone's favorite:  WEDDING WRECKS!

(Well, everyone but the bride.)

(And possibly the baker who may or may not have been assaulted by the aforementioned bride)

 

What the bride wanted:

 What the bride got:

 

Hey, Jen has a dummy cake in her office this exact shade of Wilton Spray-On Blue!

Proof:

Don't ask.

(Or do; Jen's rather proud of it.)

 Moving on...

 

 What the bride wanted:

 What the bride got:

I like to imagine a bakery order sheet somewhere with the words, "Pink, brown, and squiggly" all checked off.

 

(Btw, "Pink, brown, & squiggly" is the name of my topless Vegas act.)

 

 What the bride wanted:

 What the bride got:

To be fair, it's probably just the lighting.  Really, really bad lighting.  Like hospital lighting.  Or maybe morgue lighting. Heck, I bet every body looks like this in a morgue.

 [Later that day:

 "John, why do we have 300 emails from morticians?!"]

 

 What the bride wanted:

 What the bride got:

  When only the best will do: Doilies.

 

Thanks to P. C., Jenni S., Brett R., Esther G., and Jen for keeping the baby cake locked in the closet and away from the knives...

*****

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