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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Wrecky Replay (125)

Wednesday
Feb102016

7 More Things That Should Never Be On Cake

And now, as a service to our readers' dieting endeavors:

7 MORE Things That Should Never Be On Cake

 

7. Anything that looks like a spleen

Also, why is the spleen the go-to organ for icky descriptions? You never hear someone say, "Hey, that organesque thing sure looks like a gallbladder!" Which begs the questions: is "organesque" a word? 'Cuz if not, it totally should be.

 

6. Shrimp

Because shrimp.

 

5. Nipples

Hey, don't get me wrong; nipples are great. Heck, I even have one myself. But cake should not have nipples. It just shouldn't. And the fact that I had to bring that sentence into the world makes me seriously question the direction this country is going.

 

4. Ants

Because anything I spend time and money trying to kill should not be something I have to pick off my cake.

 

3. Actual Feathers Plucked From Actual Birds

Let me get this straight: you jammed real feathers into the icing you expect me to eat?

So how about I fetch a beaver pelt and throw that sucker on there, too? Because if there's one thing we've learned about cake decorating, it's that animal outsides are both appetizing and completely sanitary!

 

2. Mold

BAKERS WHY DO I EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE.

 

1. Back hair

Actually, this is kind of hilarious.

Assuming those are chocolate shavings, of course.

***

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME THOSE ARE CHOCOLATE SHAVINGS.

 

Thanks to wreckporters Kathryn B., Kerrigan W., Ashlee, Kelly G., Rocky J., Tami F., & Anony M. for the inspiration to just have a salad today.

*****

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Wednesday
Jan272016

Flakes Welcome

"Hi, I'd like a cake, please, and could you put a 'happy birthday' plaque on it?"

"No, no, I mean one of those plastic things on a spike - you know, a 'happy birthday' pick?"

"Maybe we should start over."

"Could you write, 'Over the Hill' or 'Officially OLD' or something like that? This is for my husband, so it's ok if it's borderline rude."*

"What the...? What is WRONG with you people? Look, my husband usually gets pie for his birthday, so I promised him that THIS year he'd get a REAL birthday cake..."

"I WASN'T FINISHED."

"But wow, you guys are fast."

[rubbing temples] "Look, I give up. Could you just give me a cake - any cake? No writing. Just grab one out of the case and hand it to me. Please."

"Which one? Oh, I don't care...how about the one with the chocolate flakes on it? Yes, that one. Yes, the flake. Thank you."

Oh, like you didn't see THAT coming.

 

*Actual dialogue Angela R. used while ordering this cake.

 

Thanks to Molly S., Savannah W., Angela R., Beth, Lisa H., for always taking things so literally.

*****

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