I Can Call You Boobie...

My friends, I have an extra special gift for a bunch of you with common American names: the gift... of new nicknames.

Bobbie knows what I'm talking 'bout, don't ya, hon'?

Yes, yes she does.

So let's get to it - and fingers crossed you find your name in here!

This one works for Bob *or* Deb. A twofer!

Tiffany, your new nickname just entails everyone using finger quotes when addressing you:

You're "welcome."

This one was almost my favorite - but then I found this:

YOU MAY NOW ADDRESS ME AS "THE GRAND JENNIZZLE."
And while you're at it, bring me some Twix bars. Chop chop!

And you thought three letter names would be safe.

I think this one must be intentional, but it still made me bust a gut:

"I have been, and shall always be, your... wait, who are you?"

Thanks to Ashleigh P., Catherine S., Chelsea P., Chelsea N., Allegra S., Anna, Katie, Dawn L., Hannah W., & Jennifer H. for the great name maim game.

Didn't see your name butchered here? Well, never fear, dear Wreckies; I have so many name wrecks to share I had to split them into two posts - so watch for the second batch later this week!

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I've wanted to replace our cats' cheap name tags for years, so I finally went looking on Amazon this week and bought these:

Stainless Steel Pet ID Tags

They're so much nicer than the old aluminum ones! Laser engraving, lots of different shapes, plus free engraving of up to 4 lines on both sides, for about $8 each. NOICE. I got a heart for Suki and a star for Eva, since she's named after Evangeline the North star.

Just make sure you don't misspell anything, this is one name butchering that could last forever. :p

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

When Mutation Day Explains So Much

I read that today is the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' "Mutation Day" - something you wouldn't think other people would celebrate, but then, that's the only explanation we have for this:

And in true TMNT fashion, I shall call her "Hipposaurus."

"Why are we running?"

"Because the hipposaurus."

(That's about the level of literary greatness you can expect for the rest of this post, gang, so buckle up and/or head for the exit now.)

Next we have Heeby Jeeves:

Mummy The Dearest Lobster:

...and Sheldon The Sensual Sea-Serpent:

Likes: smooth jazz, gelato, aromatherapy

Dislikes: Big Bang Theory jokes

Then there's Pillo-dillo, The Throw Pillow Punisher:

Catch Phrase: "The Pillow Punisher IS BRINGING YOU DOWN."

Eh?

EH?

OH COME ON THAT WAS FUNNY

And finally, my personal favorite: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, meet Newborn Sentient Yoga Wave:

::head tilt::

Or it could be Grimace - you know, the purple guy from McDonald's? - doing the worm.

Anyway, we can't celebrate the Turtles' mutation without a vaguely threatening TMNT birthday cake, right?

RIGHT.

(Better watch out, birthday dude.)

Thanks to Bea, Patricia K., Maddy R., Sarah K., Haley D., Diane B., & Amber M. for the cowa-bungles.

P.S. 10,000 geek points to the person who can correctly identify which of today's mutant names is actually from the show. :D

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Oh, and here's a reminder of what Grimace looks like, for you youngin's:

Funko Pop: McDonald's 5-Pack

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And from my other blog, Epbot: