Ode To Honest Wreckers

We've all seen it.

So.

Bakers with delusions of competency.

Yes, these professionals lure in clients with pretty pictures and promises, only to shatter their pastry pipe dreams with poor planning and pathetic, um... skills.

 

That's why I'd like to thank all the bakers out there who proudly let their wreck flags fly, showing us exactly what to expect when we order from them.

In fact, I wrote you a poem, honest bakers.

[ahem hem hem]

Thank you for your honesty
In building your display

Your heap of melty sugar 
Should scare us all away

 

And thanks for making it easy 
To choose another store

Not that I don't appreciate 
Some good ol' fashioned gore

 

Thanks for guiding blushing brides 
With wisdom past their years:

That any wedding cake from you 
Will only end in tears.

 

And thanks for being straightforward, 
I expected nothing less.

You put it all right out there 
With your drippy race car mess.

 

Thanks to you for having 
the courage to admit

That when you try to decorate
It's going to look like... really, really bad.

 

Thanks to Lesley B., Laura S., Anony M., Tiffany M., Martha C., & Jenna M. for dropping a load of truth on us.

*****

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Sunday Sweets: The New & Improved Geode Cakes

Remember when geode cakes were all the rage?

And remember the now infamous Vageode debacle that made us all laugh 'til we cried and forever tainted our minds so all we could see in most geode cakes were... well... Vageodes? 

(FUN FACT: That whole kerfuffle actually helped launch the baker's new career as a funny romance novelist, I kid thee not. In fact, Abby's first book releases this week! [I swear this isn't sponsored, just a happy coincidence.] The way Abby handled the internet seeing hoo-haws in her cakes was hysterical, she deserves EVERY success.)

ANY-hoo, needless to say, bakers aren't making geode cakes the same way anymore - and the cake world is that much Sweeter for it:

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 (Slate Couture Cakes, Australia)

 WOW.

So gorgeous! Not to mention gravity-defying, dang. 

Check out the overhang on this one:

(Shani's Sweet Creations, California)

I like the bigger crystals, very Fortress of Solitude.

(Nicki B Cakes, Oregon)

Oof. So pretty.

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(Elise Cakes, California)

Digging these soft colors and the delicate gold edging.

Then, over on the opposite end of the spectrum:

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(Shelby Elizabeth Cakes, Texas)

Bam. ALL the drama! 
(I can't believe those aren't real amethysts. My brain is in denial.)

Not all geode cakes need crystal caverns, though:

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(The Cake Life, North Dakota)

This is Sweet enough as-is! (And that heart agate topper! Ah! SO CUTE.)


I like that there’s a whole range here, from clean minimalism:

(Confections of a Cakeaholic, New Zealand)

... to over the top detail and decadence:

(Hive Bakery, Texas)

Also bees!
Funky cool, right?

Here comes another agate topper:

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(Luma's Cake, Paris, France)

I love it paired with all those ruffles. Mmm.

And finally, one last gem in the prettiest cobalt blue:

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(Hive Bakery, Texas)

No two ways about it, Sweets fans: these rock.

;)

Happy Sunday! I hope these made you smile!

*****

Do you shop Amazon? Then how about clicking through my affiliate link to shop? USAUK, Canada.

 Visiting Amazon through those links will help support the site, and costs you nothing. Thanks, guys!

And from my other blog, Epbot: