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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Apostrophe is Silent

(ATTN PARENTS: This post contains material somewhat "adult" in nature.)

Once upon a time there was a girl named Amber.

Amber decided that school was not for her. Fortunately, she had loving and supportive parents.

One day Amber was offered an exciting new job. To celebrate, she added an apostrophe to her name, thinking it would make her seem more sophisticated. Again, her parents were supportive.

Unfortunately, introducing herself as "Amber - the apostrophe is silent" did not yield the results Amber was hoping for. Still, she did make some new friends at work: Cassie the, and "Long Lips" Lisa.

Of course, every job has its hazards:

Which Lisa and Cassie were always there to commiserate with:

Then one day, after an unfortunate misunderstanding between the girls and a city health inspector looking for "clogged plumbing", disaster:

Amber said goodbye to her newfound - albeit diseased - friends, and despaired over finding another job to suit her rather unique skill set and wardrobe. Fortunately, her ever-supportive parents were way ahead of her:


Thanks to today illustrious Wreckporters Wendy E., Monique R., Alex H., Michele D., & Amber (no apostrophe) S., and Alexa B.

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Reader Comments (209)


May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

O. my. goodness.


This is insane!

People actually ordered these things?

--Brianna' (the apostrophe is of the silent variety).

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPassion Fruit

And also, I've decided that the flesh colored mounds on the last cake are what I think they are. So then I guess I understand the parsley, but now I am confused about the coffee beans.

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCat

haha! I think this is one of my favorite posts!! Bravo, well done!

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTooTiredToRide

At least the apostrophe is correct in the "You're Fired" cake.

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwpb30635

There are no words. None.

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCakedreamer

I saw that Fudgie the Whale and immediately read its message in my mental voice of Tom Carvel. That's gonna be stuck in my head for a while now.

(For those of you not wanting to go look up old Carvel ads, Carl Kasell did a pretty decent imitation of Tom Carvel during the Not My Job segment of the" REL="nofollow">April 11th episode of Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!. And it has William H. Macy, so you might find it really funny, like I did, or just be confused, like my husband was. He can't help it, he grew up in the land of Blue Bell ice cream. It's delicious, but there's no Cookie Puss.)

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteroddharmonic

That's the best post ever. Hands down. How horrific!

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterViewtiful_Justin


May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzy

Brilliant! You got story skillz gril! High Five!

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTauna

on the pole dancer cake, are those supposed to be lady private parts?

I can't believe that these are real cakes. Are people ordering wrecky cakes just so they can put them on cake wrecks?

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPlush

The writing on the "fired" cake is really nice.

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterUlrike

Oh my... cake and a visual social commentary at the same time... it's like the "this is your brain on drugs" commercials only in cake. By far the most disturbing are the lumps surrounding the pole dancer with coffee beans and parsley on them... please someone offer en explanation other than the very unpleasant one that I am imagining!

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRingleader

Those things on the last cake, are they... they look like... they couldn't be...?

*faints*(hilarious write-up, Jen. I would never have expected so much... inappropriateness on one post).

And just to add to the hilarity, the word verification captcha for this comment is "inkho".

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Luxuries

Really? Like, REALLY? I mean "cheers!" to embracing that long held belief that there's a cake for every occasion, but a brown whale bemoaning syphilis? Oysters on a cheesecake celebrating pole dancers? Wow. This takes it to a whole new level.

Anyway Jen, I'd like to send you a virtual sprinkle-laden cake celebrating this bizarre photo essay that says, "Great Job on the Porn Blog Post."

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

I'm thinking those vagina-esque things by the pole dancer needed their own censor bars. Yikes!

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStacey B

OMG! You CAN make everything better with cake!

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStuffCooksWant

"So then I guess I understand the parsley, but now I am confused about the coffee beans."

perhaps they have something to do with the...erm...disney princess cake?

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

People actually paid to get that stuff put on cakes? Holy cow.

Just when you think this site can't get any more Wrecktastic!!

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

...Syphilis blows? *dies laughing*
Also: I'm sort of new to Cake Wrecks. What's the deal with this WV thing that's in some of the comments?

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAelysium

Best post ever.
Thanks, Jen. Hilarious as always, but especially so today. *laughs*

And to second-poster Jen, lighten up a bit, dear. :)

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJeremy


May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKLTTX

Very, very cute story - you are so creative! :)

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSheila

Absolutely hilarious! I am confused as to why the Syphillis cake has candles on it though, is it one candle for every diagnosis?
As for which Disney Princess is on the Herpes cake...well, it's quite obvious she's from the new generation of princesses, that's Sleeping Around Beauty!

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCharlotte

Hahaha, I love it!!

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna Kauz

"Choco-mocha parsley clam cake, now with added pole dancers..." !!!
Thanks, Gladys, for that. It made me spew my coffee all over again. Those coffee beans on the "clams" disturb me. A Lot. And, no, I don't care to eat one.
Pole dancing cakes, herpes cakes, SYPHILIS cakes (!!!!).... who knew? Wish I didn't.

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterquat

ow, ow , ow , my face hurts from laughing too much and now my lap hurts from spilling hot coffee, it is all your fault, must stop reading Cake Wrecks first thing in the morning

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngry Housewife

Ah-ha! The flesh colored mounds are leering men with parsley hair and coffee bean eyes and mouths... at least that is what I am determined to see.

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAesa

Well, if you can't talk your family member out of their chosen occupation, maybe it's best to celebrate?

The STD cakes are a bit gross though. The pole dance one is funny!

~Amy B

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Best cakewreck story EVER!

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca Welch

Fab post Jen! I especially loved the little warning at the top and how you turned seemingly no related cakes into a a little fractured fairy tale as it were.

WV = word verification, it's our chance to make up definitions for the odd word verifications that we receive in order to post our comments. Like mine is ationvo, but I don't have a witty definition for it.

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYota Armai

There are no words.

Well, apart from Jen's words.

My favourite is the herpes cake with the prince and princess topper. Just sets the right tone, I think.

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterros

That's a whale of a cake for a whale of a ... disease!

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn H

And now? Just to tribute this awesome porn-esque post? I am heading straight to my kitchen to put some parsley on a princess cake.

When in Wrecks Land!

Oh, and Marji? What planet do you hail from, dear?

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPersnickety Ticker


May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSydney

poor fudgey the whale :(

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Kolleen

Total kudos for finding two wrecky cakes with the name "Amber" Amber' as the case may be. Way to pull the storyline together!

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Aelysium said...
...Syphilis blows? *dies laughing*
Also: I'm sort of new to Cake Wrecks. What's the deal with this WV thing that's in some of the comments?

WV is defining the Word Verification that you must enter to make a post. Example:

WV: Bacie - Ow! My bacie hurties from laughing at Jen's blog too much!

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Your commentary was hysterical!

Oh wait...
your' commentary' was' hysterical'!'

The apostrophes are silent.

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me,Pilgrim

What on earth is around the pole dancer on that last cake?

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterebidebby

is amber pole dancing in mounds of hummus?

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNiki

Laugh. Out. Loud.

Oh my gosh what has society come to??

ha ha ha
Is it wrong that I am laughing?

Astoundingly you have outdone yourself dear. Such Great talent you have in storytelling, through, cake.
Sweet. Sweet. Sweet.

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCALpumper

Lol . . . people haven't been to many frat or sorority parties if they've never seen one of those "Sorry for the (insert venereal disease)" cakes. It's one of the most overdone jokes in certain college towns, yet it never seems to lose its charm. :)

Your story linking the cakes is priceless, and it almost has a child's bedtime story quality to it. :P

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNick

Definitely best post ever!! You have outdone yourself Jen! I love it!

I'm really hoping that most of those were jokes if not intentional wrecks.

I have to admit I probably wouldn't have left a comment except that I was so excited to share my word verification: CHARLES! That's the first time I've ever seen a real name, I think!

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkjl

LoL! :-))) I having more fun just reading the other comments then the cakes itself.

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChantal


The "word verification" is something that you have to enter to post a comment. Kind of like an automated Spam cop to keep out, er, automated Spam-bots.

They are never real words, though. They are combinations of letters that almost, but not quite, spell out real words.

Since many cakes featured on the blog are also "spelling challenged," a lot of cake wrecks fans use the word verification on their post to compose a bit of a "Devils Dictionary," to define the word, or use it in a sentence, usually involving a pun of some sort.

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe musishian

hello ....LOLZ !!!!!!it's so funny cause no ones prowed of there high school drop out ....and also why whold someone make the cinderella cake like that i mean really any ways this next thing i say is for any one who does not swear on blogger.......PLEASE COME TO MY BLOG !!!!!(cause if you do you'll be the first to coment!!) and also swaering is a big no no cause ... well it just is so please come to my blog ...well if you what to .... ta-ta

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKoala Kiwi!

I must stop reading Cake Wrecks while my daughter sleeps. I'm sure the cackling and snorting laugher will eventually wake her up!

Thanks for making my day a little brighter!

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCharlene

Maybe those aren't coffee beans; there may be olives in those ... objects.

Hi Aelysium, WV = Word Verification.

WV: tefins on the whale are well executed.

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermjs

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