My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Sorry, Charlie

Warning: Parents, hide your kids. But not necessarily your wives.

There's a lot being said about Charlie Sheen right now - although one could argue that most of it is being said by Charlie Sheen. And while a lot of it might seem a bit crazy, I think you'll find his statements all make perfect sense...when applied to the right cake.

So, in the words of Charlie Sheen, "Just sit back and enjoy the show."

"Most of the time - and this includes naps - I'm an F-18."

"If people could just read behind the hieroglyphic ... if they could put their cryptology frickin' hat on just for two seconds..."

...then maybe they could tell me what the heck this says.

"I've got tiger blood, man."

I hear it tastes like strawberries.

"Resentments...are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber."

(Aka, "Is that a space shuttle in your pants, or do you need to see a doctor?")

"I've been a veteran of the unspeakable."

"I'm still alive, which is pretty cool."

"I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars."

"They picked a fight with a warlock."

"We're Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be?"

"I have one speed. I have one gear: Go."

"The only thing I'm addicted to is winning."

"Surprise! That's what winners do."

"I am on a drug. It's called 'Charlie Sheen.'"

By Cake and Art. And go here for the back story.


Thanks to Jennifer D., Gideon S., Lauren W., Katie S., Kathryn R., Tosha S., Angela M., Rebecca J., Anthea H., I.W., & Amy H., who are ALL bi-winning.

Update from john: The Hieroglyphic cake apparently says 'Happy Birthday' in Gujarati, a language common in Western India. How it ended up in a display case in a chain store in Maryland, though, is still beyond us.

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Reader Comments (109)

I haven't been following the Sheen story but you've summed it up nicely. Go, Super Bowel!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

OMG that last one ROCKS!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It think the second cake says: "snot us", but I don't know what the "c," is in the upper right corner.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That's so lame that Charlie actually posted that last pic on his Twitter page. Poor guy. Maybe he just needs a slice of that Super Bowel cake.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMs. Blasé

HAHA. I never post but the WV was too good to past up. "duedic"

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMermonster

Sure looks like that baby has a leaky diaper - anyone else think that it looks like he is having super bowel trouble? I hear that the Charlie Sheen drug can cause this...

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlaughingmom

I saw one of those "No Intelligent Life" cakes at a certain Krocery store last year. The main difference was that it was spelled "INTELLGENT" which really added a little something special. :-)

Space shuttle – ~snort~ to boldly go…

wv: ghtem, as in "Your worst enemy is having a birthday? Let's ghtem a cake wreck!"

- DB

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The Rocket in my pants cake looks more like a bicycle seat than a space shuttle to me. Maybe someone left some CK biking shorts on top of their bike seat? No? oh....

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

I have now learned that anything can be forgiven if letter-frosted on a cake.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Cotton Floozy

Jen, I love you.
That is all...

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That Vatican assassin looks an awful lot like Elton John.

I think the second one says "NOT US", with a couple of the squiggles to close to the N.

I'm not sure what it means, or what's with the squiggles.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDoctor Tarr

Maybe that one cake is in Russian??

The disco fever one was more like a zombie from MJ's Thriller.

And the underwear cake? Actually really well done... amazing detail... *snort*

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda Mac

Wait, wait, wait. Charlie Sheen had an Oscars Party? With CAKE?

Dude knows how to party...

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterD.B. Echo

Best. Wreck. Post. Ever. And you didn't even have to write it!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjennl777

Brilliant commentary. Hilarious. And so are those cakes.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The second image says Happy Birthday in Hindi (well, the script is Devnagari, used by hindi among various Indian languages). It's got a typo, so still a cake wreck!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSeetha Bhagvat

Amanda, it's not Russian. One of the "letters" looks like a flipped Russian letter, but it's nothing like Russian otherwise.

Trevor, love your explanation of the bicycle seat. It totally looks like that.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

Today, it was a lil embarrassing to be called Samantha O.o

(Not much of an anonymous post, hu)

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@laughingmom ROTFLOL! YES I noticed that. You said it best!

A shuttle? Looks more like two & 1/2 men in there to me!

Just like the baby cakes, body part cakes are just wrong....who wants a slice of boob or penis? O.o

wv: exiess: Charlie Sheen parties to exiess.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

So glad they didn't use chocolate frosting in the super bowel.

I'm also guessing that the hieroglyphics one was in Sanskrit or something.

I also thought the space shuttle looked more like a giant nose. At any rate, I think perhaps an ER visit may be in order.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTara

This is the most sense Charlie Sheen has made in a while!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjj

I so thought the baby was peeing on the priest for a moment. And I can't believe that this Charlie Sheen meltdown is so out there in the media that it even ended up on Cake Wrecks! Remember when celebrities used to have breakdowns in private and then write a book about it?

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OK, enough Charlie Sheen jokes. Mocking the insane is a little cheap.
It IS pretty doggone funny to match his quotes with the cakes, though.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

awesome. love. nuthing but love. You are WINNING!

wv - wifige - 1) what Charlie Sheen threatens to do to his ex-wives. 2) Having wifi.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm CRYING at the Super Bowel cake. And I'm totally getting one for my hubby, who has Chron's. LMAO!!!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

I was hoping, when I read the title of this post, that it would be about the infamous Charlie Sheen. Score!

So the Super Bowel cake has got to be one of the funniest I've ever seen.

And also, whoever sent the "Sorry I peed on your bed" cake has got the right idea; surely, an apology written on a cake will brighten anyone's day; forget the fact that your bed now smells of urine.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

Good golly. You have outdone yourself! I didn't know if it was possible, but this proves it. *kneeling, bowing abjectively* We're not worthy! We're not worthy!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying.

In my opinion, Sheen is - in the phrase of the great classic author J.K. Rowling - "nutty as squirrel poo."

Have cakes matched to his words, though, is to achieve a level of sublime comedic glory that I though was in impossible in this mortal realm. Well done. :-)

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoanna

Jen, you make my day with your scathing comments! The Super Bowel cake is a work of art! Football isn't that popular here in Canada, but my boys would go wild over this cake just because of the trail of #2 swirls and the chocolate doo-doo football log in the corner (what can I say, they're boys...). I'll have to figure out how to work this into a Stanley Cup theme...

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAva

This entire post is full of WIN, start to finish.

It's also very nearly as full of Charlie Sheen as is Mr. Sheen himself.

WV - Undine.

Maybe Charlie Sheen is the distaff version of an Undine. Happily for him, since the man he fell for is himself, he'll never have to worry about his true love being unfaithful...

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

Oh good lord

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If that fourth cake stays like that for more than 4 hours, it should really be sent to a physician!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterflying gargoyle

You'd think I'd be used to the Charlie madness by now but I'm still lol'ing at the wizard comment he made. Apparently I can believe he can lock a hooker in a closet, but I can't believe he said that. XD

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdorably Dead

Love today's cakes.

I had to post: wv: fantech

I'm fantech of Cake Wrecks solely for the bright spot in my day.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLarisa

Best use yet of the Sheen narcissism! Before I found him boring and tiresome. At last he's of interest.

I am wondering exactly what Samantha will be doing to celebrate her birthday, hmmmm?

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

WV: Judeon. An anti-semitic moron.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That "Happy 21st" birthday cake is QUITE ... uh... yeah. Wow.

As for Mr. Sheen, I used to like him. Then he went nuts.

wv - condsish
Charlie doesn't have a "disease", he has an alcohol/drug/sex/winning dependency condsish.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Jen - my hat is off to you and your ability to be u[ to the minute topical. "Winning!"

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This should get an award!!! love it!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMomza

My favorite one is the Super Bowel!! Charlie Sheen is a train wreck, so sad...he has talent in his veins, along with whatever else he's shooting up!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterprotojew62

We have a huge Indian community here in MD, that's how.

lol at every cake.

Oops, gotta go...Charlie is tweeting.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGiulia

I've been poking fun at Charlie for the past couple of days. It's easy to do. I must now share these with those that have not yet discovered the awesomeness that is Cake Wrecks. I thank you for joining in the good time that is poking fun at Charlie!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelley Prather

YOU are brilliant. Simply ... brilliant. :)

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElly

The second cake DOES NOT use Hindi. It says "Happy Birthday" in an Indian language called Gujarati.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was eating lunch and those cakes almost made a veggie wrap come out my nose

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCandi

What happened to the actual Sheen cake? Did the goddesses scrape off bits? Splatter paint it with nose candy? I can't really tell.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJillian

Perfect summation!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think Samantha's cake has something with batteries under the fondant, and not rice krispie treats.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#3 "Wow, this job is easy! All you have to do is upend a vat of strawberry glop over each one, and you're done in no time!"

#4 When Samantha's nose itches, anything can happen. In this case, Darren got super-sized. Maybe this is the companion cake to 'Huge Me'?

#5 Looks like the dancer got tagged -- how appropriate.

#6 "No Intelligent Life" -- in this bakery!

#7 Not many people know that 'Harry Potter' was originally played by Peter Lorre -- it involves time travel and is kind of complicated to explain.

#9 I think the border pretty much says the same thing as the message.

#10 Which is worse -- to do that, or to make a cake about it? It's a toss-up.

#11 Meh.

Sometimes, 15 minutes of fame can seem like 15 decades. When Salvador Dali said, "I am the drug -- take me!" it was witty. In this case...?

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

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