Dora the Engorger

"Hey there, Dora, something seems different today!

"Did you change your hair?"

"Or maybe start a career in pillow smuggling?"

Ok, ok, to be fair, Dora might be pregnant. It's just a lot less traumatizing to imagine her purple monkey friend is stuffed down her pants holding a basketball. And wow are there a lot of things wrong with that statement.

Still, you must admit: her face looks good on paper...stuck on cake.

Ok, maybe you don't have to admit that.

Oh, and Dora, sweetie, didn't anyone ever tell you to match your foundation to your double chins? Take it from a girl who knows: it's all about the blending. And scarves. Scarves are awesome.

Now I know you can't put a price on perfection, but fortunately this labor of...labor...only cost wreckporter Becky S. a measly two hundred and seventy five dollars. However, she also reports, "when I complained to the bakery, I was told they wished they had charged us more because they had so much work in it." So I guess the price just went up if you want a similar piece of...work. Sorry, guys.  Maybe they'll give you a discount if you bring your own basketball.