My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Settle A Bet For Me

CW reader Tati snapped a photo of something... interesting... on display in a local bakery's window.

Now, John and I have studied this thing at length (FOR SCIENCE!!), and unfortunately we can't seem to agree on what, exactly, it's supposed to be.

Here's where you guys come in. (But not literally, I hope. Because ew.)

Ok, first impression: Is this a bleeding butt, or bleeding boobs?


How 'bout from this angle?


Now, the real question:


Thanks, Tati. I think.


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Reader Comments (122)


May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPernille

Bleeding butt, because - tramp stamp

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTrista

IT'S JACK THE RIPPER'S BIRTHDAY!!!! Hey, way to go, guy. Do you want to slice the cake now?

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

Butt... Tramp stamp + no nipples (and we all know wreckerators love them some fondant nipples). As for why umm too much 50 shades of gray??

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterFlatlander in VT

Just finished getting her tramp stamp and the tattoo artist is about to ink a matching tattoo on her booty. The tattoo is bleeding -- she should done a little more research on tattoo parlors.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Hmm... No nipples and no anus, so my vote is a baby shower cake for a mother who's expecting twins.


May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRachel Crazymum

I think that is the most gross thing you have posted in 2015. Whether it is boobs or a butt. No. Just no.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I agree with the tramp stamp assessment.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterShine

Kim Kardashian tribute cake...or should I say tri-butt cake?

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

I agree butt since there's a tramp stamp. But EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

Now that cake's gonna haunt me in my dreams!!

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

@ Shirley Fowley...dying. with. laughter...Oh lady, that's the way to do it. I have tears streaming down my face, that is funny, I don't care who you are! With the extra exclamation points! Thank you so very much.

It looks like a cheap stripper...the ruffle that looks like it's trying to be a skirt, I think maybe the red is supposed to look like a thong, only it doesn't because eeewwww. I'ma have to go with Trista because... the "flower" tramp stamp. I'm not sure if the cake looks like a cheap stripper or a cheap imitation of an average stripper, I do know one thing's NOT an expensive there such a thing?

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

Dear God, what is that THING????

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

Saying but. I think the red line is supposed to be a G string + the tramp stamp tattoo above it + I think the ruffle is supposed to be a pulled down skirt (??? on that last one). Dangit, now I've thought about this too much and need brain bleach.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

it's neither. It's much, much worse.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn

AAAAHHHH! A Proctologist's dream.
Butt Cake with tramp stamp? $5.00
w/ Bleeding hemorrhoids? $10.00
Putting the bleeding ugly cake in your Bakery Window to display the bakers talent? PRICELESS!

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

It's a rear-end, wearing a ruffled thong. The grey-green part is the outside ruffles, while the red line is the string that runs up the crack.

And may I say, EWWWWW.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie E.

I know what it is.


I think it's buttocks. The back (remainder of the cake) would be very painful as a stomach.

But really, who would make this terrible thing?

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterK1ng Josiah

Good eye, Trista. We now know the what, but WHY? Is someone celebrating their gluteal enhancement surgery?

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCatTrampoline

Is that Teenage Mutant Ninga Turtles underneath the cake?? Why, dear God, why would this be on display anywhere?

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Pre-presidential Mount Rushmore.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I think it's a butt because of the skirt (though why a skirt like that????) and the lack of nipples. I think the red line is a thong and I think I see a tramp stamp on there.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

WTH??!! When I saw the first picture I thought it was the back angle of a baby bassinet. Then picture #2 scrolled up and blew my mind. Then...EEEEWWWWWW!!!!

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Honestly I can't figure out what that is. But (ha) if it is made of red velvet cake, I'm going to hurl!

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHeloise

Nothing makes sense anymore...

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJessica S

So many questions. I don't think I really want the answers to them, but still.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKelley

I am voting option C) Male genitalia cake with a skirt around the balls.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterwasnt_serious

Does it honestly matter which one it is? (I vote butt, by the way.) Either way...whatever it needs to be burned with fire until there is nothing but ashes. Then the ashes need to be placed in an iron box and padlocked to an anvil and dropped into the deepest part of the ocean. Then the key to the padlock needs to be melted in the fires of Mount Doom. Then every person who was subjected to this visual abomination would get a free lifetime supply of eye and brain bleach because - Aaauuuuuugh! Can't unsee it!

I'm with Joey, "Why, God, WHY!!!!!!!"

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

Just a sexy body cake with black lace....nipples omitted to maintain a PG13 rating. The blood is from somewhere else....OH MY GOD...has anyone checked the attic????

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTom

It's one of those "Yay You're A Woman!" cakes, complete with tramp-stamp. With party favors by Tampax.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLauraS

Concurring with Trista, I think it's supposed to be an in-progress tattoo. Now, why somebody would want a snapshot of a half-finished tramp stamp leaking blood and ink while the artist changes needles as a cake... That's another question altogether.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterM.

It's a cake commemorating a new tattoo that maybe didn't work out so well. Bleeding tramp stamp.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBin

This is going to bother me all day. I cannot comprehend why or what or what on earth for!

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

After I picked my jaw off the floor, I commenced to studying the, er, object in a scientific manner.
Hmmm. I need to turn to my trusty Interwebby resources.
• Can't be boobs (no naughty nipple thingies).
• Probably not pioneers crossing the Red River valley--no covered wagons.
• Not funeral mounds (
• Doesn't look like flower arranging (
• Must be something to do with sailing!
No, maybe not.

Science is stumped. But science knows it can't possibly be a butt. That would just be silly.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterFM

as God is my witness, I will never wear ruffles again!

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermsanthrope

One of those stringy bloomer things... If I absolutely had to make a bohuncus cake, I'd steer clear of red splotchy g-strings... for this very reason

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Yuck. The real question for me, as a former baker, is why would any baker put something like that in their window? Sometimes I think they're baiting you to get put on Cake Wrecks.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered Commentercharlotte

Butt. Tramp stamp and bloomers.


May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

One cake. It took only one cake to traumatize me. Bakers are nefarious.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAthena

It is a butt. Noooooooooooooooo

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I'm going to vote for "it's a butt." The second view is brining back memories of "The Wolf of Wall Street" when the main character was in bed with a prostitute and sniffing a line of cocaine from the same area.

I was watching it on a plane last year, and this is when they decided to have an announcement. So the movie froze RIGHT THERE, and STAYED there, for at least three minutes. I was frantically searching for the button to dim the screen, when my son looked up and noticed. He doubled over laughing, then took a photo of it and Tweeted it to all his friends.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

OK, this makes me finally draw a line in the sand. I don't care what people order from wreckerators and get delivered in a discreet brown bakery box. But for goodness' sake, why do these things go on public display? The fact that this was put out for all to see by the baker makes me question a) his/her sanity; and b) whether civil society is irretrievably doomed.
Wreckerators- ask yourselves WWYGD? (what would your grandma do?)

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterColin M.

The hills which were alive in "The Sound of Music" after the Von Trapps have trippingly crossed over
into Switzerland and the Nazis spread death and bloodshed across the land.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

tramp stamp above a red g string

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered Commentertannya

This is the best possible advertisement for a bakery that wants to go out of business immediately. Or maybe seeking a health department visit?

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterVicky

50 Shades Of Gross...

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterhrhinson

The old stand-by (the photo credit) reads: "...shesaysit'sabikini". I've already lost too many minutes-that I'll never get back- trying to make sense of it. So, it's a bikini. ALTHOUGH....(just to put Tom at ease, mind you) maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to check the attic, after all.... ... =^-.-^= (Hmmm...just wondering...How ARE you ever going to settle that butt--er, bet with John/thoj?)

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

LOL @ Subee!

And further LOL @ Karen for "MakeitHOaway!"

From the first photo, I maintained a faint hope that it could have been a Snoopyesque or even Hong Kong Fooeyesque head in progress, but I don't remember the latter's mask having ruffles on it.

After the second picture, however, there is only one possible verdict. It is an aBUMination.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDB

A popular display at the Mütter Museum.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Its a butt with a lower back tattoo.

May 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCecily

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