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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Mar182019

Whatever You Do, DON'T BREAK EYE CONTACT

Minions, today is a holiday I can celebrate whole heartedly and with zero effort, because it was practically made for me.

That's right, today... [dramatic pause].... [which stretches too long]... [so now everyone is side-eyeing and shifting around uncomfortably]... is Awkward Moments Day.

Awk. Warrrd.

Now, I'm sure you're wondering: do I actually have cakes for Awkward Moments Day?

::hearty chuckle::

 

Let's put it this way:

Do I routinely forget the names of people I've met more than 3 times and then try to fake it by calling them "Heyyyyy you"?

YES I DO, YOU.

 

And did I once turn the corner at Target while complaining to John about my then-boss only to come face-to-face with that very boss AND his wife?

BUTT OF COURSE.

Did I then have to continue working for that boss for another 3 months after trying to play it off like I'd been talking about a different co-worker, knowing full well he wasn't buying it since there were only 3 of us in the whole office?

 

That's a big cringey 10-4, partner.

RIP, my short-lived career installing software on new factory PCs.

 

You know what I love most about this holiday, though? The fact that I'm not the only one out here celebrating it.

How may people do you think this cake serves? 12? 15?

 

Let's pause to appreciate that THIS is the scene someone chose to have hand-piped on what I have to assume is Matt's birthday cake. His birthday cake.

 

The best ones, though, are the unintentional celebrations of Awkward Moments Day. The celebrations that become Awkward Moments themselves.

Like when you accidentally turn a birthday cake into an obituary:

 

Or when you didn't anticipate your initial cupcakes being served in rows of 3:

 

Or you so badly botch whatever you were TRYING to write that it ends up looking like the graduation cake for a Sex Ed class:

We can only hope it was served with a side of bananas.

(WHAT)

(Oh, was that just my sex-ed class? Allllllrighty then.)

 

Thanks to Christine P., Robert C., Laurie C., Francine M., Jennifer G., Diana G., Amy O., Kevin C., & Sherri C. for keeping it real with raw banana appeal.

*****

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Sunday
Mar172019

Sunday Sweets Strikes Gold

I don't have a pot of gold for you today, minions, but I *do* have the shiniest, sweetest gold cakes.

(Carrie's Cakes, Utah)

 

Which are much, MUCH prettier. Not to mention tastier.

(Alena's Cakes)

These gold drips look like liquid metal! Amazing.

 

Sometimes you need just a touch of gold to make your cake sing:

(Albena Cake Design, Canada)

 

Other times, MORE IS MORE:

(Exquisite Wedding Cakes, Pennsylvania)

I starting singing "Shiny" from Moana when I first saw this. Scrub the deck, my friends. Aw yeah.

 

Did you know dyed pear slices could look like bright peacock feathers?

(Tortik Annuchka, Moscow)

Neither did I!! But I love the contrast of textures here, so gorgeous.

 

I had to remind myself this gasp-worthy beauty is edible; it looks like gilded porcelain!

(Honey Love Cakery, permanently closed)

 

Oooh, and check out the sheen on these mermaid scales:

(Maricota Chocolateria, Brazil)

Magic.

 

Come for the gold honeycomb pattern, stay for the ADORABLE bumblebee:

(Tomima)

I also love the ink drawing on the second tier. So many great design elements!

 

Dark jewel tones + gold = heaven for our eyeballs.

(I can't find the baker. Help?)

 

And finally, let's end on a high note (heh) with a completely edible, golden gramophone:

(Cake Story, Moscow)

WOW. Now that is Sweet.

 

Happy St. Patrick's Day, my friends! Be careful with the green beer tonight, hear? ;)

*****

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