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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Beyond Bizarre (260)

Friday
Apr192019

Because For Easter You Get EXTRA Nipples, That's Why

Don't you just love Easter cakes, minions?

All the icing flowers and pretty patterns, and those springy pastel colors everywhere! Ah!

It's just so beautiful.

And... possibly deceased.

 

Well, at least Easter eggs are a no-brainer.

::siiiiigh:::

 

Real Talk: I thought this technicolor bunny cake was kinda fun:

Then Lorie told me it's supposed to be a mermaid tail.

::double take::

::head tilt::

::squinty squint::

Yep, still not seeing it. But I AM in the mood to listen to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat right now. "Bring ME my colored bun! My amazing colored BUN!"

They're singing along on the inside, honest.

 

For the longest time I couldn't figure out who this cake reminded me of:

 

Then with Star Wars Celebration last weekend, I finally remembered!

 

You:

"WHY, JEN, WHY."

 

Me:

"Mayhap I've said too much."

 

And finally, a little Easter ditty, to the tune of Silver Bells:

Saggy boooooobs
Saggy boobs!
It's Easter time In the bakery

Ring a ling
Headless screams!
Soon we will see
Nipple playyyyy

 

Thanks and deepest apologies to Christy F., Jessica G., Lorie B., Lauren L., Chad E., Carolyn S., Laura B., & Jaime J. for helping me get that off my chest.

*****

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Thursday
Apr182019

Lamb-entations

Like the Mardi Gras King Cake, I suspect that the Easter Lamb Cake is just inherently Wrecky. I mean, this one Jamie B. sent in is a good one:

So really, it's like shooting apples* in a barrel to go after these things: just too darn easy.

(*Yes, I know it's supposed to be "fish in a barrel", but I would never shoot a fish. Too messy.)

 

However, I will go after the smoking lamb cakes:

I've seen several of these cigarette-puffing lamb cakes now, and I'm totally baffled. I get the lamb/Easter connection, but where's the cigarette feature? This one Monique R. found actually has a "Happy Birthday" sign around its neck, but most say "Happy Easter".

 

Here's a better example:

What I find even more hilarious is the fact that it looks like both lambs are wearing chocolate yarmulkes.** Oy vay! An Easter lamb schmokin? What kind of mishegas is going on here?

(**For the record, this is the hardest word to learn to spell by looking up in the dictionary, ever.)

 

Here's a variation, lest you think only one bakery out there is making these crazy things:

I'm guessing this is some kind of regional tradition, but I look forward to you lovely readers filling me with your wisdom. Explain this madness to me in the comments, so we can all learn something today, eh?

 

And before I leave you, here's one more photo sent in by Kat:

It's not really a Wreck; I just love that little girl's expression as she's preparing to lop off the lamb's head. You can almost hear the Responsible Adult going "Now, dear, let me help you..." as she's gleefully hacking away. Heehee! Oh, and that spot of jam is well-placed, too.

 

*****

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