5 Terrifying Kids' Cakes To Make You Poop A Little

Parents, are the kids making too much noise? Need to quiet them down a bit? Maybe get them rocking themselves in the fetal position for the next few hours, followed by a life-long enrollment in therapy?

THEN DO WE HAVE THE CAKES FOR YOU!!

"Hey, kids, that's not sunburn - it's pulverized entrails! Ho-ho!"

"My name's Murders-A-Lot, and I like warm hugs!

"... followed by murder."

"We're gonna wreck... [clap!]... YOU UP."

[muffled screaming]

I know I usually blur out bakery labels to protect the guilty, but what the actual heck, Baskin Robbins:

Sleep sweet, kiddos.

Thanks to Sarah H., Tom S., Sarah Y., Erica K., & Carol V. for finding a cake that mirrors all of our faces right now.

*****

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Good Luck Wrecking The Castle!

Joanna H. ordered this cake for her 30th birthday:

The horse shoe is for luck.

BECAUSE SHE'S GONNA NEED IT, AMIRITE?

Ahem.

Here's what Joanna got instead:

Insert "the trots" joke here. BAHAA TOILET HUMOR.

Whitney M. wanted a cake that looked like Neuschwanstein castle for her husband's 30th birthday.

Here's a picture of the castle for reference:

Ha! Come on, now, you'd have to pay someone at least four hundred bucks for a cake like tha...

"I paid $400 for this cake," Whitney writes, "plus $100 for delivery!!!!!!"

Oh. Well, ok, then. Um...

Bummer.

And finally, here's the cake Terrisa K. ordered for her wedding:

So, ya know, that's gonna end well.

She writes: "I didn't see the cake until I was actually walking down the aisle, whispering to my dad, 'is that my f***ing cake?!'"

Yes, Terrisa. Yes, it is.

Thanks to Joanna H., Whitney M., & Terrisa K. for showing us what's black and white and wrecked all over.

*****

Do you shop Amazon? Then how about clicking through my affiliate link to shop? USA, UK, Canada.

 Visiting Amazon through those links will help support the site, and costs you nothing. Thanks, guys!

And from my other blog, Epbot: