Summer "Lovin'"

I don't really keep up with you young whippersnappers' schedules, but going by the cakes coming in I'm guessing summer vacation is starting up. Soooo...

Hey, hoopy froods, school's is out for summer!!

You know what's awesome about summer, besides throwing all those pesky grammar rules to the wind?

Jumping into pools of cubed green Jell-O, that's what:

During the Winter Underlined book tour I actually had a whole Q-and-A session derailed by a discussion on the practice of combining Jell-O with cake. Apparently some of you weirdos do that.

[ducking and running for cover]

That's not all summer is known for, though. There's also the ice cream cones:

(Honestly not sure which parts of that are edible...but I'm hoping the answer is "none of it.")

And steaks on the grill:

YUM.

And hamburgers:

(I like how even the fake plastic ants won't touch those "french fries.")

And hot dog pancakes:

This looks like a job for... the Special Pancake Victims' Unit!

*DONK DONK*

And then, after all that food, you get to stuff yourself into a bathing suit:

I actually look exactly like this in a bikini, only paler*. And with more muffin tops. (HEYO.)

(*People tend to think Floridians are super tan, summer-loving sun-worshippers. Hee! SO CUTE.  No, we're the ones huddled inside with the AC blasting, laughing at all you crazy tourists are out there getting heat strokes. We also own more sweaters than the average Alaskan, because there is no place colder in the continental U.S. than inside a Florida public building during the month of June.)

And then of course there are the fun-loving hordes of ants...

I swear these things are solar-powered.

Not to mention the blistering heat...

...and family vacations where everyone's miserable except the organizer of said vacation, who is homicidally determined to have a good time...

[One of my most cherished Disney memories is of the family collapsed on a park bench, moaning, while the Dad stands before them, screaming, "We're not here to RELAX, we're here to HAVE FUN."

"I'm having fun! I'm having fun!"

Plus there's nothing good on TV, and the neighborhood kids wake you up at oh-HAIL-no-thirty with their shrill little screams of glee and stomping feet, and all the parks and shops are crowded, and, and...

Huh. How long 'til Fall, again?

Thanks to Tracey D., Adriane M., Sam H,, Kerry L., Lauralee L., Aj M., Jill V., Julie G., Kristin M., and Becky C. for making us realize just how much we need a vacation.

Graduated Layers

Graduation season is upon us, my friends, and I for one couldn't be happier. Not only do I get to revel in the fact that I'm a "prefessional adult" who's DONE with school [NEENER NEENER], I also get an excuse to drag out some of the old grad wrecks I never got around to posting.

Here's one from the last Ice Age in internet terms, aka ten years ago:

That was the year we learned to ix-nay on the unfortunate onograms-may.

Skipping forward a ways, we come to "2009":

Year of the "Dipolma" and "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks.

In 2010 we had a fresh crop of Permedics celebrate their "gradudlion:" 

It's a tough call, but I'm pretty sure "Gradudlion" is my new favorite misspelling. The trick is to put the emPHAsis on the second sylLAble, like this: GraDUDlion. And then pronounce the end bit "leon" instead of "lion." Go on. Say it with me: GraDUDlion. GraDUDlion. [Ignore those co-workers; they're just jealous.] Now once more, with feeling! GRADUDLION!! YEAH!

[looking around]

[sitting back down]

[patting hair back in place]

K, where were we? Oh, yes: 2011. The year we learned that only the very BEST cakes get reserved for store displays:

 

 The grace. The dignity. The spacing.

(First one to say, "But at least it's spelled right!" gets the patented Jen Death Glare. DON'T TEST ME, PEOPLE.)

In 2012 bakers broadened their horizons by combining the fine art of Dali-esque surrealism with a post-modern monochromatic aesthetic:

 

I call it, "Tar Donkey Butt-Peeing."

So what will the 2013 grad season bring? Well, I hate to speculate, buuuut...

I've got a pretty good feeling about it.

("Graguates gradudlying! Graguates gradudlying!!")

Thanks to  Stephanie F.,  Jen S., Alana G., Brittany R., Daffny A., and Julia A. for gradudlyating at the top of today's class.