PERILOUS PERIL

It's Friday the 13th, and wreckerators are up to their old tricks:

 Cakes that stare:

Cakes that WOULD stare if they had a face:

Menacing snowman heads playing golf:

(I think?)

Gratuitous use of berry topping:

(Is that a number 3 or a heart? And why does it scare me either way?)

Alarming cakes for 6-year-olds:

(When I was 6 I liked Winnie-the-Pooh, is all I'm saying.)

And of course, HORSE HEADS FOR EVERYONE.

You get a creepy horse head, and YOU get a creepy horse head, EVERYBODY GETS A CREEPY HORSE HEEEEAD!!

Happy Friday the 13th, y'all. Watch out for suspiciously large bakery boxes, k?

And thanks to Roberta, Danielle M., Karen M., Katie N., Anna B., & Maja V. for being the only neigh-sayer.

P.S. I feel duty-bound to inform you that these are less than $13 on Amazon:

Creepy Horse Head Mask

Do with this information what you will. :D

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

The Clucking Dead

Because bakeries are running out of ideas, I give you:

John Deere Zombie Chickens!

Also known as The Clucking Dead.

On a scale of 1 to gouging-out-your-own-eyes, how disturbing is this?

Personally, I think it falls somewhere between "Ped Eggs" and toddlers-who-won't-break-eye-contact.
[shudder]

But really, the best part are the buttons. Go on, think about it.

Ever heard the expression, "getting sh**-faced?"

'Cuz someone took that WAY too literally

Ew.

Angie wanted to get her friend a cake, but there was a problem: apparently "Happy 50th Birthday, Melissa" wouldn't fit.

But don't worry, the baker was still able to squeeze something out:

So moving.

(Do you suppose the baker was wiped after this? Flushed with success? Ready for the next stream of orders? Hey, where are you going? [HAHA THAT WAS STILL A PUN] Come back! I haven't used my famous "You're in trouble" line yet!)

Thanks to Sarah P., Dimitra L., Gina V., & Angie W. for caring enough... to give a crap.

I’m so excited, y’all; I’ve been waiting to post this one for AGES:

Squatty Potty Dookie The Pooping Unicorn

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: