When Bakers Have Never Seen Fruit Or Vegetables Before

Ever get the sneaking suspicion your baker has never actually seen a strawberry?

Or an apple?

I like how the giant poo log is blowing back in the wind, and how the anchor(??) has a smiley face(?!?) wearing a sailor's hat (??!!#$*&?!??)

So hey, on the one hand, I appreciate that we finally found some icing carrots that don't look like wangs.

But on the other hand... what the duck.

(Are they made of clay? Did someone sit on it? What happened to the crumb coat? Is one carrot missing? WHY IS THERE A CHOCOLATE DUCK AAAAAA)

The next time you hear the phrase "like two peas in a pod," I want you to think of this:

Do NOT, under any circumstance, think about green poo, bursting throw pillows, or the fact that Slimer has a butt.

That's my gift to you.

And finally, let's end with a wreck that is simply BANANAS:

Eh, I'm with John - I don't see the a-peel.

Thanks to Erin, Emily O., Jessica R., Gina L., & Autumn H. for dropping that before splitting.

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Sometimes I remember we live in a world with Bananya, the kitty who lives in a banana, and that makes me happy:

Funko Bananya Figure

I just found out this little Funko figure exists! SO CUTE, and only $9! 

(There's also a black kitty version, ermergersh.)

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

5 Resolutions Anyone Can Keep. BALLS.

How are those New Year's resolutions coming, minions? Did you already ditch the ol' "get up earlier, work out, and eat better" thing? SO WITH YOU.

Really, we should just pick easier goals... and then reward ourselves. With cake. For picking goals.
Because baby steps.

Here, I'll kick us off:

In 2016 I Resolve To:

- Be more compassionate.

But I'm still not giving this cake back.

- Volunteer for a worthy cause every month.

I promise at least John will be "awear".

- Spend more time with the ones I love.

Cider beer, if you please, John.

- Communicate exactly what *I* want from a relationship.

But better make it chocolate.

And finally, the no-brainer:

- Start ending every sentence with an exasperated "BALLS."

Like most of this blog, that one makes more sense after a few cider beers.

Thanks to Matthew S., Kristin E., Pate C., Alyson A., & Jackie for resolving those issues for us. BALLS.

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HEY LOOK MORE BALLS:

Narwhal Stress Relief Balls... Filled With Tiny Balls

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And from my other blog, Epbot: