The Game Where Everybody Wins

It's "Take A Wild Guess Day," minions, and I've got a real humdinger of a round lined up for you, mwuahahaaa.

Let's start with an easy one:

I know, I'm surprised bakers would make something so controversial, too.

Not to mention take such obvious political pot-shots with their cupcake cakes (patooie!):

Eeesh. That's a bold stance.

Once you know what this next one is supposed to be, it actually makes very little sense:

How are those wild guesses coming, by the way? I'll list the answers I have at the bottom.

"Papa" here is just begging for a back story:

And while you're at it, please give me a plausible explanation for this bakery display that's haunted me for years:

Or if not a plausible explanation, at least a funny one. ::evil grin::

(I know what Tiffany blue is, and I agree the cake is not Tiffany blue... but beyond that I'm lost.)

This next one is actually pretty well done... which somehow makes it even funnier:

Kendra found this in the bakery case, so it's either a rejected custom order or a baker having a REALLY interesting daydream. Um. What occasion calls for glowing pyramid heads and approaching meteors?

 And finally, let's go back to guessing what the cake is supposed to be with this groom's cake from someone's actual wedding:

Huh.

You know, if you squint and back up it actually has an adorable little face and leafy arms. D'awww.

So, how'd you do? I'm sure your guesses are way more entertaining than the truth, but here come the answers that I know:

1) I seriously have no idea. Maybe a psychedelic avocado?  2) A fish? Definitely maybe a fish. 3) Ballet shoes. 4) A golf course. 5) Something that isn't Tiffany Blue.  6) Stargate II: Electric Boogaloo (You got me: I have no idea.)  7) A ski hill. (Really.)

Thanks to LVB, Amy T., Aubrey T., Sheri G., Kate M., Kendra C., & Katja for that downhill slide.

 *****

I think the take-away here is that bizarre can be beautiful, just usually not on cakes. This dinosaur on a bicycle delivering flowers, however...

EJ Art Dinosaur Stretched Canvas Art

... is PERFECT.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

10 Easy Ways To Completely Wreck Your Icing Balloons

It's almost TOO simple: a round blob with a string.

So how can you wreck the humble icing balloon?

Oh, my sweet, naive little baker friends.

LET ME COUNT THE WAYS.

1) Embrace The Airbrush:

I'm talking full-on bear hug territory here, folks. Love it. Use it. Defend it with your life. Don't ever let it go.

2) Choose Your Colors.... WISELY:

Crap brown with black "highlights?" Oooh, now you're cooking with gas!

Plus, anything that brings to mind bleeding orifices...

...IS PERFECT.

3) Remember Size Is Relative:

And you could totally fit a few more in there.

4) ...But Bigger Is Always Better:

Just throw a few tiny balloons on top to keep it confusing.

5) Of COURSE That Piping Tip Works

I mean, why wouldn't it?

6) Try Turning Them Into Insidious Ground-Dwelling Creatures:

::slither slither slither::

7) Or Colorful Hair Buns!

Floating grandma heads have never looked so festive.

(I'm not the only one seeing this, right?)

8) Gravity Schmavity:

Just be sure to never look at how real balloons work in real life, 'cuz that shiz will blow your freaking mind.

9) Look For Inspiration In Unlikely Places:

Like the wads of chewing gum under the counter!

And finally, the tried-and-true favorite of bakers everywhere:

10) Just Make Them Look Like Sperm:

Aww, three of them made it!

Thanks to Allison W., Erin, Becky G., Anne B., Hilary E., Mandy B., Rachel W., Brenda, Susan C., & Jason for finding some of the most hilarious balloon wrecks ever conceived.

*****

Wow, party balloons have come a loooong way. Have you SEEN this adorable doggy pack?

Pet Dog Balloon Walkers, 14 Pc

You get 14 for $14! I need an excuse to buy these. And also a cat version. :D

****

And from my other blog, Epbot: