Wreckerators Hate Zebras, Here's Proof

I've discovered something incredible, minions: wreckerators hate zebras.

It's true!

Wreckerators hate zebras so much, they can't even look at them - which is why so many "zebra-striped" cakes end up looking like poop smears:

  Or DNA sequencing:

Or, my personal favorite, the Mind Flayer from Stranger Things:

Now, just as a reminder, this is what a zebra looks like:

(wreckerators, avert your eyes)

And these are what zebra stripes look like on cake:

But if you order that from a wreckerator, be prepared for things to go, shall we say, swimmingly?

That is, be prepared to have a certain... outburst.

Or rather, be prepared for whatever comes your way.

I feel like there are more sperm puns here, hang on.

Oh! I know.

What's black and white and bred all over?

I'll stop now.

Thanks to Jasmine H., Jennifer B., Katie V., & Barb for that fascinating intercourse.

*****

P.S. Are any of you into Diamond Painting? Because this kit has the prettiest art:

Rainbow Zebra Diamond Painting, 16X12

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

This Bakery's Baby Shower Display May Actually Give You Nightmares

I thought I'd seen it all, dear minions. Heck, I HAVE seen it all.

Just... not like this:

Either these naked baby dolls came to life overnight and started eating the display cakes, OR - and this is even MORE disturbing - the bakery did this on purpose.

I'm not even creeped out by dolls, you guys - exhibit A-Z right here - but this? With all the icing smears, and those staring dead eyes? (And why - WHY - are they naked?!)

Yep. That's a giant plate o' NOPE, right there.

But wait!

THERE'S MORE:

Apparently this naked demon doll sat in the icing before collapsing, which really brings the ol' "I licked that piece so it's mine now" strategy to a whole new level.

Maybe you didn't notice lil' icing butt, though, because:

It's LOOKING...

right...

AT YOU.

0.O

Thanks to Kristen D. for the sweet dreams. And my "sweet dreams" I mean "screaming nightmares." You monster.

*****

P.S. I don't know if this is helping or hurting, but for $15 you can get a set of 4 "unicorn dolls" that "drink and pee," and between the "horn" and the mental image of them sleep-peeing all over the house in the middle of the night... I'm kinda tempted:

Unicorn Baby Dolls

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: