My apologies. EXPLOSIONS AND/OR ALIENS.

And they say cake decorating is dead:

It's not dead.

It's more in the process of being slowly bludgeoned to death.

Ergo the massive head injury and general fuglitude happening here.

Now let's take a rare glimpse at the Cake Wrecks Facebook Wall - because, oh yes, we're one of those ancient dinosaur sites that still has a Facebook page:

You're absolutely in the right here, Kim... but I like the way your friend thinks.

And here's one from Audrey, who used her cake to convey both an apology AND an explanation:

(Is that "poor" or "poop"? Because either works for me.)

I like it. Sweet and succinct. Maybe we should all give this technique a try.

"Sorry about the house. NETFLIX."

"Forgive the smell. TACO TUESDAY."

Or, for a one-size-fits-all approach:

"My apologies. EXPLOSIONS AND/OR ALIENS."

***

Alexandria wanted a really basic beach scene for her son's birthday cake, so she ordered this design from the book and asked the bakery to leave off the characters and flowers:

To recap: she just wanted the water and sand. That's it. (She planned to add some toy sharks later at home.)

Here's what her bakery made:

BEACH PLEASE.

Thanks to Ken K., Katie R., Kim, Audrey O., & Alexandria C. for teaching us the ocean is more of a stream, and the beach really is #1.

*****

Because some days call for more than coffee:

"Probably Whiskey" Enamel "Coffee" Mug

(The listing really does have "coffee" in quotation marks, ha!)

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

The Ballad Of Sam Patrick

Ahh, St. Paddy's day. A day of rainbows:

A day of trash cans(?) filled with popcorn(??):

And, of course, a day of traditional Irish padlocks:

Which is where "St. Paddy's" comes from, of course.

Make sure you never call it St. Patty's, though, lest you incur the wrath of both internet commenters and fancy eyebrowed shamrocks:

SO FANCY.

Besides, we all know you're supposed to call it "Sam Patrick's Day."

Good guy, that Sam Patrick.

Though I hear his pick-up lines were terrible.

(To be fair, that "I'am" WOULD get you hissed.)

Well, happy Sam Patrick's day, everyone!

Oh, and don't forget to pick up your loaf of green snake bread on the way out:

It's what Sam would've wanted.

Thanks to Casey G., Tara G., Melissa S., Crista C., Gabriela N., Samantha G., & Erin R., who can't BELIEVE I didn't make a hissing snake joke there at the end. Sorry, guys.

*****

P.S. Any of you need new swim trunks? Because I think these would make Sam proud:

Idea Zone Men's Swim Trunks

There's also one with interstellar dinosaurs, if you're into that sort of thing. :D

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: