Easy As 1,2,C!

"Ok, Mr. Johnson, we're going to take a quick look at your tax forms for last year, alright?"

"Nooo problem."

"Great. Let's start with your dependents. Now, how old is your daughter Emily, exactly?"

"Oh, she hasn't been born yet. But not to worry; the wifey and I are working on that, IF you know what I mean!" [winkwink]

"Er...unfortunately I do, yes. And forgive me, but I couldn't help but notice from your previous returns that little Levi has been one year old for quite some time."

"That's a, uh, medical condition. Very rare. I'm sure you've never heard of it. But it's completely tax-deductible, believe me - just like his back waxing."

"Uh HUH. And I see that you and your wife, Ann - if that's her real name..."

"Oh, she likes to spell it with quotes. She's French."

"Ah. Well, you and your wife seem awfully fond of naming your children 'Andy.' Why is that?"

"We find it's just easier that way. And you should see 8th Andy with her ferrets - aDOOORable!"

"Look, Mr. Johnson, I'm sure we can get all your dependents sorted out, but right now I'm most concerned about your numbers."

"My numbers? What's wrong with them?"

"Mr. Johnson, I'm sorry to tell you this, but you can't count."

"WHAT?! Of course I can count! Counting is as easy as 1, 2, 5!"

"Three, sir."

"Oh, fine, have it your way."

"And perhaps next we should talk about your hearing problem."

"What?"

Thanks to Marsha N., Darcy P., Carrie Z., Jen M., & Nikki H. for taxing us with today's wrecks. Remember, cake wrecks and books about cake wrecks are completely tax-deductible, guys!

*****

This seems like a great time to bring this back:

P Is for Pterodactyl: The Worst Alphabet Book Ever

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Grim Prospects

Ever get the feeling something bad is about to happen?

You know, just a general, inexplicable feeling of foreboding?

And then people start giving you strange advice?

Or acting like they know something you don't?

Regret is a dish best served cold...
so two scoops of ice cream, please.

Sometimes it's just a subtle emphasis on a word, or an odd visual aid:

Other times it's more direct:

(I'd pay up if I were you, Patrice.)

Still, even if it's all in your head, it's good to know that some things, at least, are never a bad sign.

Right, Lucky?

Aw, don't look so Grimm, boy; we know you're not Sirius.

Thanks to Cindy S., Jena P., Monica S., Jennifer H., Meghan R., Alicia A., & Alisa B. for the Harry situation.

******

P.S. And for those of you who really lean into the Grim Aesthetic:

Curio Coffin Shelf
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And from my other blog, Epbot: