Dump Week

It's National Dump Your Significant Jerk Week, or as I like to call it, Dump Week. That's right, folks, it's time to get out now before you have to spend another Valentines' Day shelling out the dough for over-priced chocolates and stuffed animals!

And really, what better way is there to end a romantic entanglement than with CAKE?

Now your ex can drown his sorrows in beer and buttercream. Unless he's out of beer. Or hates cake. In which case, this cake is PERFECT.

For some reason I get this one a lot. You know, from you readers. It's usually followed by a "I promise I'm not a stalker," and a request for my home address. (No joke.)

If you prefer a more subtle route, there's also this option:

 "Allow me to point out that the arrow pointing to the representation of the amount of my love is actually larger than the representation of the amount of my actual love. 

"If you're not getting this, I've also prepared a pie chart. On a pie."

Then there are all the old standbys:

The Outraged:

 The Relieved:

The Psychopath:

But for my money, I'll always prefer good old fashioned crazy:

If I find a jam filling, I am OUTTA HERE.

Thanks to Sarah H., Kjaere, Lesley M., Birdy, Olivia C., and Erin W., who will always hold a special place in my heart, and we'll always be friends, but I'm at a really complicated place right now and just need some time to think about who I am, you know?

*****

P.S. I don't know what kind of message this sends, but minions, this is the prettiest Valentine's knife I've ever seen:

7" Cupid Heart Rainbow Pocket Knife

And it's on sale for less than $12! I'm debating getting a few of these for my favorite Galentines this year.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Sunday Sweets Gets Fruity!

My New Year's resolution this year is to eat healthier. Like making spinach smoothies or whatever it is all the kids are doing these days. More veggies. Definitely more fruit.

Do you think this would count?

By Planet Cake

Why it's dripping with healthiness!
Ok, fine, so maybe the apples are technically made from fondant, but baby steps, people.

How about this?

By Carrie's Cakes

I think these are actually real grapes. I can't tell under that sparkly glaze of sugar, but I'm pretty sure. A slice or two of this for my mid-morning snack, and I'll be in marathon shape in no time!

I'm talking about a TV marathon, of course. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, anyone?

By The Cake Whisperer

And here comes my face into this cake, because it looks irresistible. Don't worry though, it's totally healthy. It's probably peach flavored, so that evens everything out.

I've also heard that adding lemon slices to your water has some health benefits.

By Miso Bakes

So, the same obviously goes for adding cute fondant lemons to anything. Let's not overlook the tastebud benefits and decorative benefits either.

Anyway, I think we all know that the secret is MODERATION. It just takes a little math.

By Ashley Cakes

One bowl of cherries is less than or equal to three tiers of delicious cake. See? It's not that hard.

And I'd call this a "well balanced" meal.

By Noah Weston

Amazing!

Now, it wouldn't be too hard to convince me to eat fresh strawberries right off the vine.

By Betty's Sugar Dreams

What's that you say? These are fondant too? Impossible! Too incredibly life-like. I will eat them all just to prove you wrong!

OK, you were right.
But THESE berries are totally the real deal.

By Truly Custom Cakery

In fact, I love a decadent heap of raspberries on my morning bowl of oatmeal and flaxseed. Minus the oatmeal. And flaxseed. Plus the cake.

But look, you can't tell me that there's not some nutritional value here. I see plenty of greenery.

By Sweet Tooth Creations

Not only that, but fondant is made from two simple ingredients, sugar and corn syrup. CORN syrup? Sounds healthy enough to me. (Is it just me, or does it look like those are his-and-hers pears up there? Oh, wait. Pair of pears. I just got it. Nevermind.)

Whew, with all this eating right, I think it's time to reward myself.

Baker unknown.

Five layers of pineappley perfection. That should do it.
Yep, I'm feeling really good about this year!

Happy Sunday, everyone!

*****

Here's another berry nice way to reward yourself:

Fruit Dangle Earring Set

Cute fruit earrings! You get 9 sets for $15, and both of these are actual customer photos, so you can see what you get:

I love all the citrus ones the most, they're so bright and cheerful!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: