Spring Love Is In Despair

So now that Spring is officially here, you know what's coming, right?

That's right: wedding season.

[rubbing hands together gleefully]

BRING ON THE WEDDING WRECKAGE!

Let's kick things off with a lovely Spring Fling inspiration:

...that in execution got a little, well, flung:

I like to imagine that this was delivered on the back of the baker's scooter, and that those smushed fondant butterflies on the sides were all tragic road casualties. Because, somehow, that actually makes this more excusable/believable.

What the baker says:

"Yes, I can do that!"

What the baker means: 

"Yes, I have some shiny ribbon!"

Maybe at the reception they shone a spotlight on the ribbon so the glare would blind all the onlookers. That's what I would do.

Oh, hey...maybe that was the baker's plan all along!

Bride: "That looks TERRI..."

Baker: [flashing ribbon]

Bride: "I CAN'T SEE! Where'd you go? Are you here? Where's the cake? Hey! WHERE'S MY PURSE?!"

[sound of running feet]

This next one could be a metaphor for life and love in so many ways. Not that I mean anything by that, fellas. 'Cuz I don't. So never mind. In fact, can we not talk about this anymore, please? It's just a cake, ok? SHEESH.

EXPECTATION:

REALITY:

Waw-waaaaaw.

Because wedding cakes are like marriages: some settling may occur.

Thanks to Valentina V., Michele W., & Paula B. for sharing their wedding day woes. We're here for you, ladies. Right after we finish laughing.

*****

P.S. I'm back with a more useful stress-reliever. Take two of these and don't call me in the morning:

Squishy Stress Voodoo Doll
******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Easter EGGcellence

Ok, bakers, huddle up!

Now, listen: Easter is coming. That means a lot of long hours, hard work, and painstaking effort on your part to ensure we make some of the most beautif...BWAHAHAHA!!

AHAHAHAHAA!!

[wiping eyes] Sorry, sorry! I really thought I'd get through that with a straight face this year. Heehee!

Right: start your airbrushes! I'll see you back here in five.

Bee-YOO-tiful.

Nice aim on those jelly beans, Jim!

And good call on the "Peep Peep." That'll clue 'em in it's not a swan or a banana or something.

Not bad, but I can still see a little icing. Can we get a little more plastic in here?

And speaking of plastic, here's a great recycling tip:

St. Patrick would be proud.

 
And remember, bakers: the more plastic, the less time, skill, and hassle!

I made this one in 15 seconds.

With my feet.

(Aaaand that'll be $14.99, please. Cha-ching!)

And lastly, I don't actually know what this is...

...but it looks like a really efficient use of time. So let's make a few dozen more.

Thanks to Stephanie J., Angela M., Alexandra M., Shay K., Tony D., Diana Y., & Stephanie R., who think that's supposed to be a bunny rabbit.

[staring in stunned silence]

Well, one thing's for sure: You're not getting a Peep out of me.

*****

Here's a colorful addition to your Easter baskets this weekend:

64 Pc Easter Scratch-Off Craft Kit

Great for kids, sure, but I'D like these. Less than $10 for 64, and they even come with ribbon so you turn them into ornaments or a little garland.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: