Get Ready To Be The Butt Of A LOT Of Jokes, Ana

This was supposed to say, "We love you, Ana!"

You know, with an exclamation point.

That's... not what she got.

Though to be fair, it did cause some exclaiming, all right.

Thanks to Rachel M. for reminding us that the important thing is everyone has a good time... in the end.

*****

P.S. Speaking of butts, here's something that saved mine during a long painting day recently:

No Buckle No-Show Stretch Belt

This is my new favorite belt, y'all. It basically turns anything with belt loops into an elastic waist. So comfy I forget it's on, slimline so it doesn't show under my t-shirts, and NO BELT BUCKLE to dig into my belly or unbuckle for bathroom breaks. Woohoo!

You know how stretch jeans are forever sliding down when you sit or bend, so you have to keep hitching them back up? No more! I wear this with all my jeans now. It's entirely elastic, so it moves and stretches with you, zero painful digging. I HIGHLY recommend for anyone well endowed with squish in the belly area.

Romancing The Scone

It's National Resurrect Romance Week, minions, and as a "humor" blogger on the internet I am of course an expert on this subject.

Also John and I are celebrating our 24th wedding anniversary this month, and we're both still alive, so... Yeah. EXPERT.

I've graciously decided to share some of romance secrets with y'all, so let's start with a few tips:

Heyoooooooooooooh like you were expecting anything else.

Tip The First: Let your SO poop in private.

Trust me, you don't want to be the turkey in this situation. INSTANT MOOD KILLER.

Tip #2:

Build your relationship on a foundation of terrible, often nonsensical puns:

Bee-leaf me on the nonsensical part. The more confused your SO is, the more turned on they'll be.

Tip C:

I'm not saying get them drunk.

I'm typing it.

Never underestimate the power of Tip C.

4)

Send the kids back to school. Granted, we don't have kids, but this one is apparently so effective even the bakers are hinting around at it:

5) Practice your sexy face:

6) Then maybe try a little flexing:

Just keep in mind flexing doesn't look great from every angle:

7) And finally, remember, romance isn't just about setting the mood or saying the right things or getting drunk and dancing the perfect seductive polka. No, there are other, healthy alternatives:

"Awwww yeah. Shut the door, sweetie; and bring the whole dozen."

Thanks to Sarah L., Johnnie L., Jen D., Chris J., Katie G., Noah G., Stephanie & Rejean, Carolyn C., & Amy K. for keeping love alive.

*****

P.S. Want to send flowers that last forever? Then how about this card that transforms into a bouquet:

Fresh Cut Paper Pop-Up Flowers

I sent this style to my Mom for her birthday last April, and it looks just like this! Even better, it ships free with Prime, so no extra postage needed.
*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: